Back to the Land of the Living. (Update/Triggering)

I'm back. Not sure if anyone remembers me.. I've been off for a bit over a year as far as I can recall. I'm now single, and imbedded in a complicated, going nowhere non-relationship. He's a nice guy, he's just not into me. I really like him though. My mom's still out of work, still sick, still getting worse. And I'm still supporting her. I got laid off at the beginning of the year, left college at the end of the Spring semester, and got hired back in July. I'm about to get laid off again since the restaurant is closing. I have no money saved up because I've been struggling month to month. My mom has decided that the solution is to move to the middle of nowhere, which is close to her brother, sister in law, and neices and nephews.. So, I'm about to leave everything I know, my past, my friends, my stability and just go. I'm so flipping scared. I'm falling for the boy here, the one who doesn't like me. And he's like.. The only solid rock I have in my life. I'm scared of the total relapse I've been staving off. I've been overeating and I'm heavier than I've been in a while. Part of me is like "Fuck this" and just give up, but then part of me remembers how it was.. The not eating, not sleeping, constantly throwing up, no energy, no friends, no life. Then I remember "skinny." That elusive everpresent girl for the girls that we are. Will I ever grow up and reject this impossible idea I have for myself. I was at Paul's house. I saw myself.. Hair down, in a tank top. And I though, "I am cute." Then I look down and see my stomach and I want to cry. I'm not as depressed as I have been, but that's since I met Paul. He's really a lot of good for me. How the fuck am I going to survive three hours away from him? I was crying on his couch on Monday.. I can't wait to see him again. How pathetic is it that that's all I'm holding on to? A visit to a guy who isn't dating, who isn't interested in dating me. I need him. On top of all that, I'm worried about my cat. She's lost like six pounds, and I'm scared to death. I need to get her to the vet, but I can't afford it. I'm scared to death that she's dying and I just could never handle that. She's just two years old..