Back to the clinic

today we went back to the IVF clinic... it was terrible, the being back there was bad enough, but the the nurse made me recount what had happened with my miscarriage which was horrible. I really tried to put it to the back of my head, kept telling my self that she was just doing her job, but still it was so hard. To top it all off, every thing and everyone around me seems to be reminding me of pregnancy and mothers day is just around the corner... 
 
on the upside I have managed not to break down for two days now, its a relief as I feel that I am starting to heal just a little and can think of my baby with fondness rather than feeling that the mere thought of her will kill me... the most important thing to me at the moment is to try and overcome this and to hold on to my belief that she isn't truly gone, but waiting for the time to be right to come back to me and her daddy...