Back to reality

 I'm Going back home today after 5 month's. (Went home 2  weeks ago for my neices engagement party)  I did feel anxious on the ride home, two weeks ago, Didn't feel so Anxcous, On the way Back down though.

When I was younger, I never felt as much anxiety (or not as much) as much as I do on the way home.

I  have used all my energy just thinking about this situation I'm in with family of the Mentally Handicapped son,  Like I have been  thinking about them bringing him over (maybe the whole family, To watch me play guitar)  I have always been a big deal with the family, especialy the father,  Csuse Because of Cerebral Palsy, Didn't start to really excell till later,  Probably early teens,  Didn't walk till I was 12

Anyway, This Mentally Handicapped guy has always felt like, "I come over to You hose, I should get something of Your's,  Since I'm older then You, You have to be humbe,  But I don't"  He's always been confused, And them and my parent's just play along   Them "HUNRING' him,  I'm just sick of it, sick of "Humring" This Guy, Sick of going with it, I just don't want anything to do with it anymore, I never did.....And they do all this for him, Because, He doesn't have a liittle brother, And they feel bad about that. I do keep wondering though, Had we not known them,  Would i have had all theese Job(s)?

Cause the father felt bad about all the thing's he let his son take from me 35yrs ago,  As I've said: Possession's don't bather me, As much is being taunted  with them.

And I am beginning to have  "Toilet troubles"   Maybe related to all this, I'm sure it's related to All this, I don't really want to go home.