Back to reality

Well the vacation is over and it's time to get back to it. My company left yesterday after a very full 2 weeks. I went through a few moments and even said to my buddy how nice it would be to sit with him and have a beer and a smoke and it really would have, but I know those days are gone forever. My buddies wife hugged me and cried saying that she was going back to him being drunk every day and so sad. I feel so helpless cause I know there is absolutey nothing I can do. I told her all she can do is watch for the good things, but she is running out of patience. Last Saturday we had some friends over. There were about 60 people here most of them drunk and I found more strength watching and listening to the drunk talk. I appreciate my sobriety, but I wish I could handle it better. I guess things are improving in my state of mind, but it's pretty slow going.