Back to fucked.

Can't even tell why. Too many thoughts. Why does it have to be painful? It's eating me alive today. May be it's cause I spent yesterday around people. I swear I'm worse. I can only handle like 1 day every couple of weeks. I just stay alone. Been getting my affairs in order, working hard on it. Don't know if I can keep going. I'm going to try to get through the holidays and then go into a hospital. Oh god help me.