Back sliding again

I am feeling so hurt all over again. I can't seem to get the visions of the 2 of them having sex out of my head. I can't seem to stop comparing myself to her. I have to stop! I was feeling better and stronger but I'm not right now. I tried talking about it to H and his reaction was what did I do or not do now, making it all about him again. Not what I needed. What did he do, he lied to me and chose her over me for over 4 years! Maybe I need a break from him.