Back in the same boat

So here I am one year later and in the same boat. I keep going to therapy and that includes PT tonight for my shoulder. Next month I see a psychiatrist, finally, to see what meds will work for my OCPD. I know I have my issues with OCPD, but, I know that my marriage is over. I am just not motivated to continue to live unhappy the rest of my days on this earth. I am affection-starved and yet she says she's tried to show me more. My response, you have a funny way of showing it. I initiated intimacy for 5 months straight. Does she ever do that? No. Candles out, too when I did. Nice music. I just need more than intimacy. Held and holding. Disagreements, afraid to even get into those after last year. I can't live with the guilt as a result of last year. I feel trapped and yet, now that we are separated I feel better since I don't have to deal with her issues. I know I have mine, thanks to OCPD. Therapy and meds will help. I need to fix that before moving on. She has to have surgery for weight loss. I will pay for that, no problem. I just need to move forward. I know it hurts others, but there comes a time when I have to take care of myself. And this is that time. I have so much baggage to take care of. I just want someone who treats me equally and who I can be proud of. I really want to lose the baggage and I only see one way out. I even want out of the state I live in and go back to my homestate, hometown. It will get interesting to say the least.