Back in hell.

I got an email last night from my friend's boyfriend. 
He told me that all the while my friends were advising me to 'get over her' and 'move on' and 'accept the fact that she was gone', she was wanting to still be my friend.
And there is so muc miscomminuication, it's almost like I would have been right in saying that the silent treatment was a bad idea.
Now she's furious at me because I gave up and said some harsh things in my pain, and there's no way to fix it.
My mind is screaming that if the miscommunications were cleared up, if the truth were known, I could repair the damage.
And I'm dreading the crash when I learn that I need to give up, again, this time.  Because THIS time, unlike the other times (apparently), there is no way I can fix it.