Back -i will recover!
So I've been gone a long time. Its been a good time in the most part if i am honest. I have barely been on here since september 2008. I choose not to come on here because i felt i needed to get out on my own and try and think of my edon a less regular basis. I missed people and their lovely messages but at the same time it reallywas good. I got my eating sorted, i was able to join people eating out and the "thoughts" lessened and that ed voice became weaker but did not go. I honestly was the happiest i had been in years.
But now i am slipping very fast in a downwards spiral and am struggling to find i way to climb back up. I cannot 100% figure out why now. In the timei was away tough days or evens weeks would come but i managed to fight and overcome them but this time i seem unable to do the same! I really do not want to go back to where i was, i want to get back to that good place before i slip too far because i cant start that battle all over again, i just dont have that fight left in me. I must beat thisnowbefore it gets too far.
I was refered to the ed unit last month but decided not to go anymore, i actually felt likeit was hindering me more, i need to do this for me not because others tell me too, i may sound unwise for doing this but i did consider it very carefully and felt it was best for me at this time.
I am going to write a little entry on here pretty much daily if i can, this will include a diary of my intakes, so if that maybe trigger, please do not read that bit. I am going to make myself stic to the sort of diet i have dont for the past year and a half, which was three meals a day and snack if i feel i need them.
I dont know if anyone will read this, but if you do i would really appreciate the support and would love to support and chat to you too. :)
But now i am slipping very fast in a downwards spiral and am struggling to find i way to climb back up. I cannot 100% figure out why now. In the timei was away tough days or evens weeks would come but i managed to fight and overcome them but this time i seem unable to do the same! I really do not want to go back to where i was, i want to get back to that good place before i slip too far because i cant start that battle all over again, i just dont have that fight left in me. I must beat thisnowbefore it gets too far.
I was refered to the ed unit last month but decided not to go anymore, i actually felt likeit was hindering me more, i need to do this for me not because others tell me too, i may sound unwise for doing this but i did consider it very carefully and felt it was best for me at this time.
I am going to write a little entry on here pretty much daily if i can, this will include a diary of my intakes, so if that maybe trigger, please do not read that bit. I am going to make myself stic to the sort of diet i have dont for the past year and a half, which was three meals a day and snack if i feel i need them.
I dont know if anyone will read this, but if you do i would really appreciate the support and would love to support and chat to you too. :)
Replies
Dear \"Want\",
I think it is a very good idea to go back and get support from this group before the E.D. gets as bad as it once was. Seeing that you recognized the beginnings and yelled for help it should be beatable even easier this time than last! E.D. is something that will live with you for life, you have to come back and get a little support to continue to fight, think of it as recharging your batteries!
You have me as a friend who admires your ability to fight and fight hard! Eric
First of all, welcome back! It\'s good that you are reaching out for some support & friendship, and that you realize you\'re slipping fast. I hope this can be nipped in the bud even quicker!
Although we can offer you sincere understanding, and we can pat you on the back for your positive attitude and attempts to not relapse, I still think you need to re-connect with some form of professional help, whether it be your old ED clinic or with someone else well-versed and trained in the treatment of ED. I feel it is very important for you to have that professional involvement because they can actively monitor you too, where we cannot. I\'d hate to see you slip too far back into old behaviors and make yourself sicker!
And just because you may have gained some weight and are considered to be doing much better, we here KNOW that could be further from the truth. WE get that!
Also, please be honest with those who love you, family & friends, to let them know that you\'re struggling again. You need to tap into all the support you can right now.
Once again, way-to-go for reaching back out to DS friends, and I hope you\'ll consider me part of your army here! XoOXx
hey i can understand your struggles im from gbr too and i am here if u want to talk
Hello, it\'s nice to \'meet\' you. I\'m sort of new here, I joined two months ago so we\'ve not spoken before. I hope you don\'t mind me saying hello.
I think you\'re being incredibly brave coming back and reaching out for some help. Well done for wanting to address things now before they progress and slip out of control. Slim is right, pls try and be honest with those who love you. They will be happy to help you I\'m sure and it can be really helpful having some support close by.
I wish you lots of success. Please talk to us here about any of the problems you are having, I hope you receive some of the help and support you\'re looking for.
My name\'s Frankie by the way x
hi there
I don\'t know you either but I noticed we have a lot in common so thought I would say hi. I am 22, live in newcastle and have been battling ed for 8 years. I have been getting much better slowly over last year and half, but it is generally 2 steps forward one step back all the way. Finding things really quite bad at the mo and also finding it dificult to see exactly why.
You sound like you are being very proactive and it is good to hear! I am definately a try to look on the bright side sort of person (when im not too ed influenced anyway!ha!)
Nice to meet you, GG
glad ur back and dont worry about triggering people...this is ur journal girl...u write what u want and dont censor urself!