Back -i will recover!

So I've been gone a long time.  Its been a good time in the most part if i am honest.  I have barely been on here since september 2008.  I choose not to come on here because i felt i needed to get out on my own and try and think of my edon a less regular basis.  I missed people and their lovely messages but at the same time it reallywas good.  I got my eating sorted, i was able to join people eating out and the "thoughts" lessened and that ed voice became weaker but did not go.  I honestly was the happiest i had been in years. 
But now i am slipping very fast in a downwards spiral and am struggling to find i way to climb back up.  I cannot 100% figure out why now.  In the timei was away tough days or evens weeks would come but i managed to fight and overcome them but this time i seem unable to do the same! I really do not want to go back to where i was, i want to get back to that good place before i slip too far because i cant start that battle all over again, i just dont have that fight left in me.  I must beat thisnowbefore it gets too far.
I was refered to the ed unit last month but decided not to go anymore, i actually felt likeit was hindering me more, i need to do this for me not because others tell me too, i may sound unwise for doing this but i did consider it very carefully and felt it was best for me at this time.
I am going to write a little entry on here pretty much daily if i can, this will include a diary of my intakes, so if that maybe trigger, please do not read that bit.  I am going to make myself stic to the sort of diet i have dont for the past year and a half, which was three meals a day and snack if i feel i need them. 
I dont know if anyone will read this, but if you do i would really appreciate the support and would love to support and chat to you too. :)