Back home after dog shows...
I was off the grid for one full week, I stewarded and announced at the Malamute Club of America National Dog show.
Well, I was so busy, I didn't have time to be sad, now that I'm home, I feel horrible. Trevor never liked the dog shows, so I didn't have that looming over me.
Now that I'm home, I feel sick, is it because I was away from home, and now back home? Has anyone else experienced this, I sure hope I begin to feel better, I was doing so good :(
Marylou
Well, I was so busy, I didn't have time to be sad, now that I'm home, I feel horrible. Trevor never liked the dog shows, so I didn't have that looming over me.
Now that I'm home, I feel sick, is it because I was away from home, and now back home? Has anyone else experienced this, I sure hope I begin to feel better, I was doing so good :(
Marylou
Replies
I hate coming home after being away. My son lived with us. How about Trevor.
Hugs
Laura
home is empty sometimes,,,, lonely, sometimes Morgan filled our house with love and laughter,,, tis hard at times to be here without her... love ya!
OH yes this definitely happens. When our minds are involved in something and we are distracted returning to reality is traumatic. I think everyone that has gone to a retreat has felt this when coming home. The dog show is a retreat for you. I love dog shows, I use to show my Labs years ago, AKC and UKC.
Hugs,
Terry
Yes, I experienced It during our retreat in Boston. I was gone for 2 weeks to Boston and Cape Cod. I did not cry as much there, I did not stay up as late, I did not drink as much wine as we do at home... I thought I was on my next level of \"healing\"... I was happier... my daughter was happier staying with my parents. I thought I was getting \"better\"... then we came home. My husband had stayed home and was a bit bitter about us leaving, so I thought that put a damper on things. But since I got home I feel like I have gone 10 steps backwards and started grief all over again. Each day has gotten a little worse instead of better. I asked my Hospice Counselor when I came back if it was being in the house again where Vinny earned his wings... if it was seeing all of the pictures all over the walls and computer... she said no, I had never complained about the house or pictures before. It had been my husband\'s reaction to our leaving, and also just going back to the \"routine\" again without Vinny in it. As our SOTHS here say, it is a constant roller coaster... we can take 2 steps forward and 10 back, and then a few forward and then a certain thought or memory will hit and you cycle backwards again. I heard it will be like this for a while.
We just have to take baby steps, wake up each day and keep going while always missing our child. I just read also that sometimes it is a good idea to set aside 1 hour a day where you cry, scream, grieve, write about your child, and when the hour is up, you continue your day, put it aside and move on. Knowing you have that hour to cry and grieve may make it easier for some, I have not tried it yet... Also, as Nora said above, my home is also much quieter now, more lonely, more empty and brings back our loss as well...
Your reaction to coming home is completely normal. I am thinking of you and you are not alone.
Laura Trevor did live here, he grew up in this home, however, his death took place at his own apartment. Thank you all, I figured this happens, I don\'t know what I would do without all of you. It is good to let it out. I\'m hoping for a better day, as I write this, I do feel better, than I did yesterday...
Grateful that you are feeling better today than yesterday and such is this wild wave of grief. You were super involved and living in the present with what you were involved with and upon returning those flood gates opened. I understand and have felt that way many times with the let downs of returning home and to the reality of life without my son. Deepest of sighs...
Thinking of you today and grateful that you wrote because in that the pure knowing that others have felt or are feeling it too helps so much.
May today be a gentler one,
XO Joanie
I remember when I realized that distractions are how we make it through this...if there are moments, hours or days where our mind is occupied it helps. So, I decided I would try to have little projects...it was hard but when I was successful it helped. Love to you...Karen