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I haven't really updated on the drama that's been my life for the past year.

First, last December Geo and I decide we aren't in love with each other. January my mom goes into hospice and gets really sick. I go visit her. January 29^th, she has a major stoke in front of me while I'm visiting her in Jacksonville, FL (I lived in Miami at the time). She is literally dying in front of my eyes. She weighs about 85 pounds. That night, Geo decides to get into a fight with me that I'm going to see my literally dying mother too often (and I later deduce it's because I'm spending my money to go see my dying mother instead of spending it on him. Later on I realize this was the day it was really over). January 31^st my mom dies. I have no regrets about going to see her every 2-3 months. None at all.

I was supposed to go to Jacksonville for a memorial service for her with her late husband, but at 4 am that day he decides that he doesn't want me there for some stupid reason. Geo freaks out, starts punching the walls (at 4 am, including the wall between us and the neighbors) and ends up kicking his shoe so hard he can't walk for a week, and punching a hole in a wall. I start crying from a horrible migraine that I've had for a month and he finally calms down and stops threatening to kill her husband and tries to comfort me.

Her actual funeral is in February in LA. I go to LA and tell Richard (my stepfather) that I've had enough, that I can't take living with Geo anymore and that I want to move in with him when the lease is up in October. He says okay, and so I go back to Miami after the funeral. I take off my ring on March 12^th, and I call Richard and say change of plans. I need out sooner. He sends me a check in the mail, I call a shipping company, get a plane ticket and on April 18^th I get my freedom!

I now live in Los Angeles, CA, down the street from Hollywood. I hang out there all the time. I’m happier now. I’m in a 12-step group called CoDA- Co-Dependents Anonymous, and it’s been a huge help. I now see that Geo is a narcissist, abusive emotionally, and I’m supposed to do an intake to see if I need domestic violence counseling on December 6^th. I think I do, with all the crap he did to me.

When I lived in Miami, I had no friends. Well, I had 2 part-time friends. I couldn’t really leave the house without him. I couldn’t spend the night at a friends house, even if it was 11 pm, in a bad neighborhood, and I had to wait for the last bus because my friend was drunk and couldn’t drive. I had a mild form of OCD because I was so controlled I had to control something. I didn’t have any guy friends, and I always liked having guy friends over girl friends.

Now, I have a bunch of friends (mostly guys), I go out all the time, I’m happy alone. I can use something other than just one bowl (I would even eat steak out of that one bowl and try and cut it the best I could, because my OCD would only let me eat out of that one bowl, with that one fork and one knife), I take showers more often, I wear makeup, I dye my hair (next is purple!), I have fun! I did have one trip to the mental hospital, but that was bound to happen when I got free.

I haven’t really dealt with my mom’s death with all this drama going on. I’m still trying to deal with the aftermath of Geo. He sent me a text the other week with a bill from the apartment complex, saying we owe them $1,564. I talked to a legal advisor and he said to not pay it, to write a letter saying this and that and then they can’t stick me with the bill. It's not like they can evict me, I live 3,000 miles away, and with the wording in the letter they can't hit my credit, either! I know I need to deal with my mom's death, and so I've been getting some advice on it. I'm thinking of watching Gilmore Girls until I cry. Richard has all the seasons of it, and I have some free time coming up (I think...) so I might watch it until I can cry and grieve. Any advice is welcome!

I was so codependent at the time I left Miami that it was my idea to write a contract saying I would pay this and that for X time, and one of them was his phone until he decided he didn’t want it anymore. Well, I just canceled the insurance on his phone so if he breaks it, that’s it for him! I don’t want to enable him anymore, but I’m stuck in that contract until he says no. In the contract I said I would pay his rent and bills until the lease was up in October, and I did that. I didn’t want to after a while, but I had to because I said I would. I’m deep in debt, but since I have my own money now, I’m going to pay it all off in the next couple of months and I should be debt free by my birthday in February! My student loans should be forgiven in December, so I will be free of those, too! Just lots of good news all around.

So that’s been me lately. Just lots of drama, but I’m doing a lot better than I was last year. I have a lot to be thankful for- family, friends, and freedom!