Back for the second day.. yay

Bob and LMT, thanks for your comments. Means a lot. To answer your questions, it feels to me like I had a stroke too, but the doc checked for it and my brain isn't showing any signs of one, so they say it isn't one.

I went to have the spinal tap today. I had to tell them to stop. As soon as they put the needle into my spinal cord, they would hit a nerve. The muscles in my left leg would literally spasm and the pain was incredible. I can only imagine that this is what it would feel like to have a lightning bolt hit you. It was just horrible. It was so bad, that I actually started crying. They wanted to give me a valum, but that would do nothing for the pain so I told them to forget it. So, no, I didn' thave a spinal tap. I'll tell you this much, I'll never let someone go near my spine again unless I'm completely under. Period.

It was interesting though. Before the procedure the doc was asking me what the test was for, and what my symptoms were. I told him. They were surprised that I wasn't being tested for multiple sclerosis. The neurologist has kept to the naritive that I just have migraines. Anyway, when I laid down on the table, I sunddenly got very dizzy again, and held up my hand to stop them while I recovered. The doc and his assistant looked at each other with kind of a raised eyebrow looks. They obviously think I have more than just migraines too. I'm just saddled with a shit neurologist, I guess.

I took a break from here when the site migrated. During that time, my life became really hectic. My youngest daughter came up for a visit and it was the first time in a few years that I had seen her. In addition, my parents came back into town, and they're dealing with renter drama. In the meantime, I've been letting them stay at my house. They're living in the RV in the back yard, but spend a lot of their time in here. They've been here two months and will be staying until the end of this one. It's been pretty rough.

I haven't told my wife all that's been going on because I don't want to worry her too much. In addition, she's already dealing with enough concerning my pain. She doesn't need these additional worries.

As for pain meds, I'm still only on Lyrica. It does not help hardly at all any more. But the docs in this area won't give me anything else. I loathe living in this mormon community.

My back is pretty sore tonight thanks to all the muscle spasming and tightness from today's procedure. My neck is also killing me. It all feels like really deep bruises.

I forgot to add that ever since that "stroke" incident, my mind has never fully cleared up. I don't have much of a short term memory any longer, and I still live in a "fog."

I was angry today, very angry. I was very angry at the pain they were forcing me to go through with the tap. I was very angry at the neurologist. But most of all, I was just very angry at the situation. I have simply had enough. I'm so done and fed up with this shit!

Well, football is back. Can't wait until next week when Tom Brady returns and his vengeance tour begins. Love you all.

These are the early warning signs of MS. This is EXACTLY what I'm dealing with, every. single. one.  http://www.webmd.com/multiple-sclerosis/guide/multiple-sclerosis-symptoms#1