Back again for more DailyStrength...
So my OCD has been a lot more under control for a while now (woo!), but lately i've been feeling really down and depressed on myself.
I left a dead end job to try to do something more with myself, and my boss is a nightmare. She makes me dread going to work every day, and manages to tear me down with EVERYTHING that I do. I've been there for about 2 months now, and it's really getting hard to go in there and keep my chin up. It makes me doubt everything-makes me feel bad that I didn't choose to try to come up with the money to do the college thing, makes me jealous when I see other people my age who are doing jobs that they like, makes me feel old and stuck. I still don't know what "I want to do when I grow up" though, and i'm scared i'm just going to stay stuck forever.
On top of it, I seriously have no friends. I have my girl friends who are sort of friends & we get along great when we hang out, but they never call me. I always put myself out there to see what they're doing, but i'm basically the only one trying to stay in touch. Then I feel creepy for reaching out to people seeing if they want to make planx. I need some real friends in my life, and I've felt this way for years, but I don't know why nobody seems to like me enough to be a real friend or call me once in a while, and it's getting really lonely being me. I have my boyfriend, but his priorities seem to be things other than me, and I really don't think it's healthy relying on him because I have nobody else but him and my family.
So just generally feeling down lately, and I don't know what to do, I just feel totally hopeless, like nothing is going to ever get better, and i'll never be able to be happy.
I left a dead end job to try to do something more with myself, and my boss is a nightmare. She makes me dread going to work every day, and manages to tear me down with EVERYTHING that I do. I've been there for about 2 months now, and it's really getting hard to go in there and keep my chin up. It makes me doubt everything-makes me feel bad that I didn't choose to try to come up with the money to do the college thing, makes me jealous when I see other people my age who are doing jobs that they like, makes me feel old and stuck. I still don't know what "I want to do when I grow up" though, and i'm scared i'm just going to stay stuck forever.
On top of it, I seriously have no friends. I have my girl friends who are sort of friends & we get along great when we hang out, but they never call me. I always put myself out there to see what they're doing, but i'm basically the only one trying to stay in touch. Then I feel creepy for reaching out to people seeing if they want to make planx. I need some real friends in my life, and I've felt this way for years, but I don't know why nobody seems to like me enough to be a real friend or call me once in a while, and it's getting really lonely being me. I have my boyfriend, but his priorities seem to be things other than me, and I really don't think it's healthy relying on him because I have nobody else but him and my family.
So just generally feeling down lately, and I don't know what to do, I just feel totally hopeless, like nothing is going to ever get better, and i'll never be able to be happy.
Replies