Back Again

As so many have done before me, I'm afraid I come and go. I sometimes think we appear hoping for a sense of belonging.  Hoping to be heard, listened to and encouraged since in the real world, so many of us are not. For me. I come back to where I can vent and fall apart and perhaps gather some kind words and encouragement when I feel none. 

I finally went through all the steps and jumped through hoops to get the title to sell my house. Today was 4 months from the original closing date. 2 days ago I learned that now there is another issue on the buyers side with their bank and now they need more documents. I am praying very hard that all pulls together in this month  or I am planning to have to start all over and put it back on the market. I've allowed them to live there contingent on final sale but fear it may never  end. Sadly, I do need the money from the sale.  They are currently paying lot rent and expenses but I hear he is working long hours (up to 70 hrs a week) to try to make this work.  I really want to see them get the house and I really do want this to end so I can finally move on.

I am on first appeal with Disability, but fortunate enough to have a check from Dave for surviviors to help me make ends meet as much as possible for now.

Health issues are better with less hours and wear and tear for the most part. And I  have gotten used to readjusting and dealing with problems wherever they pop up. What does sometimes worry me is how easy it is for me to isolate in my comfy apt with my tv and watching the critters outside my front windows. Depression and anxiety have kind of taken over, I work on eating healthy, but often resort to fast and easy which is usually not balanced or healthy.

I think back to days past when there were more of us here and also I was in a better place and always tried to give words of encouragement to others because I know how much we need that. Im ashamed that I have not done (or even felt able to do) that forever.