Aversion therapy
When I was in college, a good friend of mine who was addicted to cigarettes, and wanted to quit, decided to participate in an experiment conducted by the psychology department. They put her on a stool with wheels, surrounded by a circular curtain that had stripes on it. They had her smoke several cigarettes in a row, then spun both the stool and the curtain around and around. She got sick, and as soon as she was done throwing up, they had her smoke again and repeated the spinning. She did this for about half an hour, and as gross as the process was, she never picked up another cigarette.
But...years later, I ran into her and she confessed to me that she had become a habitual shoplifter, had been caught several times, didn't NEED to steal, but she just couldn't stop herself.Still not smoking, but had just transferred her addiction from smoking to stealing.
Throughout the past 6 weeks there have been exactly two times that I felt the urges to gamble. The first time I looked at my old bank statements with the highlighted ATM withdrawals from the casino and my stack of losing scratch tickets, and that kept me from going. The second time I read back through my first journal entries and posts and that old sick feeling flooded over me so completely that I almost got physically ill. The curtain and the stool were spinning, and it kept me from the casino. So the aversion therapy worked.
But....
Not going to the casino is only part of the battle. Where might I end up next, if I don't figure out why I "went there" in the first place? Shoplifting? Drinking? Drugs? Those things all seem ridiculous to me right now, but 2 years ago I would have scoffed at the suggestion that I would gamble away my family's property taxes and mortgage payments. And yet I did just that.
I'm really starting to see how screwed up I must really be, and it scares the hell out of me.
But...years later, I ran into her and she confessed to me that she had become a habitual shoplifter, had been caught several times, didn't NEED to steal, but she just couldn't stop herself.Still not smoking, but had just transferred her addiction from smoking to stealing.
Throughout the past 6 weeks there have been exactly two times that I felt the urges to gamble. The first time I looked at my old bank statements with the highlighted ATM withdrawals from the casino and my stack of losing scratch tickets, and that kept me from going. The second time I read back through my first journal entries and posts and that old sick feeling flooded over me so completely that I almost got physically ill. The curtain and the stool were spinning, and it kept me from the casino. So the aversion therapy worked.
But....
Not going to the casino is only part of the battle. Where might I end up next, if I don't figure out why I "went there" in the first place? Shoplifting? Drinking? Drugs? Those things all seem ridiculous to me right now, but 2 years ago I would have scoffed at the suggestion that I would gamble away my family's property taxes and mortgage payments. And yet I did just that.
I'm really starting to see how screwed up I must really be, and it scares the hell out of me.
Replies
The truth is resolve, I think everyone is screwed up in some way or another. The difference is we know what ours is and can admit it. When someone years ago in a meeting said to me I was multi-addicted I wanted to slug him. But, he was telling the truth I just couldn\'t see it or fathom it. I might rob a bank if I get desparate enough. Unlikely, but who knows. We have a money problem and have to get rid of it and then search to find more ways to get some more to stay in the game. I hate being out of the game or action. Your post was terrific. We don\'t know how far we will go to satisfy our urge. Jon
Don\'t worry. Be happy.
Thank you all, I do tend to jump ahead of myself!
Now, I just need to find out how to come up with 16 thousand dollars in 9 weeks...anyone need a kidney? ;)
OMG...why do you need so much so soon?
Property taxes and state taxes that I gambled away. Yup. I\'m in real danger of losing our home
Oh shoot! Hope you can make small payments or find some type of program to give you more time to pay.