auto pilot....

since a few months ago when i was put on 50mg of proxatine things aint been so good. i have no interest in sex at all and even if i did i cant "cum" to save my life. i have a sort off boyfriend who does live any where near me, i only see him once a week, he is only still about by my wish so i know i can get a weekly fix off HUG!. other then that it is a complete waste off time. i started my first drumming lesson this week which was fantastic, at last i found some thing i am ok at and what i want to do. next week some woman from dr barnardo's is here to see if they can offer my daughter some help with my care, but i feel like i am getting deeper and deeper in to some thing i cant handle, like my life is being taken away from me and there is nothing i can do about it. which in the end is only making me feel worse about it all. i dont know what to do, what to say.......i cant really handle any off this any more.