August,2024

August 2024

Sunday, August 4, 2024

2:31 AM

August is starting as a mix bag. I had the proceedure with my back and the area is still sore but I don't feel any pain but a throbbing ache. Saturday came and I went for the fitting only to find out that the outfit is to small but later Brandi text me saying that she is changing my outfit and want me back down in Baltimore this Wed a couple of days before the actual show I hope that this will be successful. I know that I am going to enjoy myself. I will say that I am going to enjoy being a model But I wish I can have my family with me but that will be wishful thinking. During the process of the new fitting Brandi decieded not to have me come to Baltimore for the refitting, don't know if that was a wise choice but she is the designer. It's almost time for the my show in Baltimore I am excited and not so excited. I guess it is because I have no one to come with me to see me walk the runway. I guess I am going to have to get use to doing this alone. As for my own family nothing has changed but I am still getting pictures from Gabby on my grandkids. I am glad that she is still talking to me, I am always thinkibng about my kids on how they are doing but it saddens me that I can't see them or even know what they and how they are doing. It's been awhile since I have seen Robert and Vanne, I tried to see them this past Saturday when I dropped off Robert's birthday present only to be told that everyone is sick and I couldn't see them. I was upset that I couldn't spend time with them. I am keeping positive thoughts that I will soon see them. There are times I sit and think about all of them, wondering what they are doing.

As for my new career I am about to do the show in Baltimore this Friday the 16th. I hope that everything will go well. I will make sure that I take some Ibruproffen so the pain in my back won't bother me. I have calculated what time I need to leave the house and as always I will leave extra early. I estimate that I have to leave no later that 6am but my target is 5:30am to give me enough time to get to the Baltimore Center Stage where the show will be held at. I am excited and looking forward to it. Then on my next agenda will be the compition in Philadelphia with Barbizon. I just hope that someone will pick me up from that show, I am trying my hardest to achieve my goal to do this modeling full time that I can say goodbye to Arby's and walmart. I want to succeed.

August is still being a mystery but this mystery is giving me a pain in the neck. Rayna decided to stop by the store, I guess to give me a lecture on the complaints but she didn't say who or a number of people. I think it was from the same person. I don't know if she did me a favor by keeping me employed, which I would rather not be employed by Arby's anymore. Due to the fact on the way they are treating me. Working 13 hours on Sunday. But enough is enough I am tired of Arby's. But the Baltimore Fashion week ended with a bang! I know that I didn't participate in the festivities during the week but I had fun being in the show Friday wearing a nice oufit that was better than the first one. At least I felt good in it. I will say that the runway was short and I didn't see the audenice. I really enjoyed myself and being Danielle this is my dream and no one is going to take that away from me, not even arby's I won't allow it. On that I am working on doing another show for them that is slated for October. I am hoping to be part of this show. Unfortunately Arby's is a sore and I am hating it everyday without any satisfaction.

This month I finally got a new therapist and of course I am or have to open up old wounds, how am I going to handle this, what is going to come of me when the holidays come will it all happen again with me thinking of commiting suicide. I am scared for the most part and will this so called angel keep protecting by keeping me from doing it. I don't know but I hope this angel is still by my side. As another weekend went by I wanted to see my boys since Katlyn moved out as I haven't seen any of my kids for a long time, I get depressed everytime I think about it that I get emotional. I hope this new therapist will continue to help me emotionally like the other's have, I also hope that she will help me not to think about suicide anymore. But that is not the only problem I have, it's that I am still married to merle and she hasn't budged about divorcing me so I may find someone else to be with. I don't know why she won't devorce me but I am going to make good out of the situation.