August 16

I didn't even know there was a journal associated with this account.  I am 38, happily married for 7 years and suffering from stage 4 endo. Had myomectomy in Feb. of '08 in NJ, a horrible pelvic infection in Sept. of '08 stemming from an HSG, my left ovary removed in Jan. of '09 because a cyst simply "replaced" my ovary and now I've left my NJ doctor (IVFNJ) because they cannot seem to help difficult cases like myself.  If you're outside of that bell curve, then you're outta luck.  I have enlisted the help of another NJ doctor, but I think I''m heading back to NY where all of the "good" doctors are.  I think I have more options there.  I haven't had any IVF treatments.  My FSH levels are too high, so they're thinking of donor eggs.  I've made my peace with that (my DH has not tho').  I keep thinking that my daughter is trying to reach me by little signs she sends me.  I would see her name or her initials during the day as I work.  I feel like my life will not be complete without children.  I'm so lucky to have married someone I consider my best friend first and my husband second.  This man makes me happy every day.  There is nothing I would not love more than to have his children.I spent so much of my life trying not to be like my other friends and have children young.  I travelled, had a great time.  After we got married, we waited until we purchased a home and then thought that it would happen after our fifth year of marriage.  Then we had the worst year of our lives.  I also have another cyst on my ovary.  They plan on "draining" the cyst from my right ovary.  Hopefully that would work.  And then we can start the IVF cycle.I want this to work so badly.