Aug 5th update
Hi all its been awhile since I wrote, I have moving my butt, from cleaning to getting work to the most important getting my son to finish his finials, wed he will be done and is placed as he should. Its been hard again one job is playing cat and mouse with funds and we are broke at the moment.
Friday was the court appointed visitation with his mother 1hr supervised. I was told there would be 2 rooms and that he would not see her unless he wanted. So we got there and checked in with a note that my son had concerns. My stbx came in the same room and checked in and sat for 40 mins. % feet across from me, we both have protection orders so I shut my mouth and stared at the floor and closed my eyes. Any way she did not even acknoledge him in the room....hell she is there to see him and she cant even look at him unless its her time??.. such bullshit. My son spent 40 mins with the counsler telling her his concerns and why he does not want to see her, that she is dead to him and what she has and has not done. The counsler called her in and disguarded my sons wishes. He was stunned, she came in and told him she missed him .. with no responce, then it got ugly she blamed me for all and turning him against her..and the counsler...agreed. the counsler scholded him and by the time it was done my stbx was yelling at him, he got up and told her to f off and walked out.
We talked in the bathroom and he broke down and cried telling me it was like a tag team against him and how tramatizing it was. the visit was all about her and how she was the victom ...nothing about the visit and about how he is doing. I am very disgusted at that counsler and the stbx, I called the attorney and a counsler for my son. If she had any chance to have any slim chance of a relationship its gone. He insists that he will not be going back. I feel like I lead the sheep to the slaughter house. He should in no way have to defend himself for her actions and she premeditated this as the victom and the counsler bought it.
I do look at this as this will backfire on her..once again. The court appointed advisor ,just for him will get a hear full this week when the interview takes place.
I feel so bad I took him and that he does know the court ordered it , but still there is trust, and I am the only one that he does trust.
Friday was the court appointed visitation with his mother 1hr supervised. I was told there would be 2 rooms and that he would not see her unless he wanted. So we got there and checked in with a note that my son had concerns. My stbx came in the same room and checked in and sat for 40 mins. % feet across from me, we both have protection orders so I shut my mouth and stared at the floor and closed my eyes. Any way she did not even acknoledge him in the room....hell she is there to see him and she cant even look at him unless its her time??.. such bullshit. My son spent 40 mins with the counsler telling her his concerns and why he does not want to see her, that she is dead to him and what she has and has not done. The counsler called her in and disguarded my sons wishes. He was stunned, she came in and told him she missed him .. with no responce, then it got ugly she blamed me for all and turning him against her..and the counsler...agreed. the counsler scholded him and by the time it was done my stbx was yelling at him, he got up and told her to f off and walked out.
We talked in the bathroom and he broke down and cried telling me it was like a tag team against him and how tramatizing it was. the visit was all about her and how she was the victom ...nothing about the visit and about how he is doing. I am very disgusted at that counsler and the stbx, I called the attorney and a counsler for my son. If she had any chance to have any slim chance of a relationship its gone. He insists that he will not be going back. I feel like I lead the sheep to the slaughter house. He should in no way have to defend himself for her actions and she premeditated this as the victom and the counsler bought it.
I do look at this as this will backfire on her..once again. The court appointed advisor ,just for him will get a hear full this week when the interview takes place.
I feel so bad I took him and that he does know the court ordered it , but still there is trust, and I am the only one that he does trust.
Replies
Awww shit...that\'s horrible! What is up with that councellor? I\'d report them to the medical board - You should have taped the whole thing!!! Assholes.
You are a good dad- keep up the good work.
Sorry your son has to go through this. It is not right for her to scream at him like that. The counsellor was very inappropriate. I have worked in counselling with kids and this is highly unusual to not listen to his wishes.
I hope your son knows that he is a victim but reassure him he will be fine.
Wishing you all the best
Cheryl
The counselor should have been an advocate for your son. To totally disregard his feelings was wrong. I\'d definitely look into another counselor. So sorry your son had to endure that.
Yes the counsler like the courts should be for the well being of the minor, I am running by my attorney, its not right at all!
I know this is hard on you I separated from my ex the kids are always getting some static as far as the law . The counsler was very unprofessional. your a strong father ,you doing good just stay strong.My girls are 17 and 13 they keep me strong. I have to so they dont see the weekness I pray one day all will come to a positive ending for you
Glad to hear from you. Your son definitely needs an advocate.