At 3+ years out
How far I've come in the last 3+ years! I hope anyone who thinks he or she can't possibly make it will take heart! I have no new big, or even small romance to report. In fact my wedding ring continues to reside on the third finger of my left hand. I've had several proposals, but only of the indecent kind and I know I'll never want to get involved very deeply with anyone who can't be friends first and foremost. I do miss the intimate, okay, SEX!, aspect of marriage but I am spoiled by having had a good husband and I just don't want to accept less than I had. I'm 63 anyway so the pickings in my small town aren't too good. So far I am keeping busy by volunteering. I am a volunteer advocate for a lady with dementia in a nearby nursing home. I also just finished training as a CASA. That means I'll be appointed to investigate and advocate for a child who is in court custody. I hope to be able to assist with people with limited English as much as I can because that will let me use my language interests. I am still singing Sacred Harp music with the Dayton group as often as possible and I am a 2 year+ beekeeper. Beekeeping is difficult around here due to agricultural practices and the generally challenging environment for bees in North American, but it has allowed me to learn a lot and to meet some interesting people.
I took 3 trips last year; a Carribean cruise, a 12 step convention in Vancouver and a tour of New Mexico. I was accompanied by three different friends. All trips were great. I did learn some things about my companions and we are all still friends!
I see both stepchildren and all grandchildren around major holidays and at other times when they can tear themselves away from their very busy lives. The visits are not as frequent as I would like, but I bet that's true for every grandparent in the country.
I've gotten mildly involved with the church next door. I enjoy the people, if not the politics. I hope to maintain a open minded neutrality in the political/religion wars. Is that possible? Stay tuned!
Emotionally, it is still my fondest hope to be with my husband after my death. I also have no desire to live as long as possible, extend my life, etc. I have come to a pragmatic position:
He's there doing what he is supposed to be doing, my job is to get on about doing what I am supposed to be doing. I still cry at times, and I talk to him. I kiss my wedding, though not in public.
I do maintain an interest in my health and weight maintainance because I see fat as the biggest crippler facing most of us. I want to be as independent and active as possible as long as possible.
I exercise on the bike trail and at the gym, maintain a daily long gratitude list, talk on the phone to a 12 step sponsor almost daily, attend meetings and read. I no longer work and will admitt to an afternoon nap! I hope to not have to work again, but to be willing to if necessary.
I love my dogs (3) and my cat. I even love winter though it is somewhat dreary. I continue to try to clean out this old house and daydream about what heaven is like. I pray a lot.
Dear friends, old and new, I wish I could spare you this pain. I will tell the new members what an old friend, now lost in Alzheimer's, told me soon after J's death, "It will get better, but it will never be the same." And for those of you where I am and farther down the road, - know that my heart is traveling with you. I pray we will all meet in the life everlasting and I'll be able to hug and hold you and thank you for all you did for me.
In love always, Edith
I took 3 trips last year; a Carribean cruise, a 12 step convention in Vancouver and a tour of New Mexico. I was accompanied by three different friends. All trips were great. I did learn some things about my companions and we are all still friends!
I see both stepchildren and all grandchildren around major holidays and at other times when they can tear themselves away from their very busy lives. The visits are not as frequent as I would like, but I bet that's true for every grandparent in the country.
I've gotten mildly involved with the church next door. I enjoy the people, if not the politics. I hope to maintain a open minded neutrality in the political/religion wars. Is that possible? Stay tuned!
Emotionally, it is still my fondest hope to be with my husband after my death. I also have no desire to live as long as possible, extend my life, etc. I have come to a pragmatic position:
He's there doing what he is supposed to be doing, my job is to get on about doing what I am supposed to be doing. I still cry at times, and I talk to him. I kiss my wedding, though not in public.
I do maintain an interest in my health and weight maintainance because I see fat as the biggest crippler facing most of us. I want to be as independent and active as possible as long as possible.
I exercise on the bike trail and at the gym, maintain a daily long gratitude list, talk on the phone to a 12 step sponsor almost daily, attend meetings and read. I no longer work and will admitt to an afternoon nap! I hope to not have to work again, but to be willing to if necessary.
I love my dogs (3) and my cat. I even love winter though it is somewhat dreary. I continue to try to clean out this old house and daydream about what heaven is like. I pray a lot.
Dear friends, old and new, I wish I could spare you this pain. I will tell the new members what an old friend, now lost in Alzheimer's, told me soon after J's death, "It will get better, but it will never be the same." And for those of you where I am and farther down the road, - know that my heart is traveling with you. I pray we will all meet in the life everlasting and I'll be able to hug and hold you and thank you for all you did for me.
In love always, Edith
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