Ash Wednesday
I generally get something out of the Ash Wednesday services at School but today I ran out crying because the leader was talking about sacrifice and instead of Christ I was thinking about how my husband sacrificed himself for his family and others. I ran from the gym and some teachers followed me to my room on the third floor. Believe me, ordinarily I am the least dramatic person I know. So I feel like a reaL NUT CASE.
Much as I like my kids I can't wait for work to be done. I am a raving maniac and that is with antidepressants, counseling and grief groups. I wish I could settle down. I have so many papers to grade tonight, (sigh) Life of a teacher. I'm sure I'll miss the job but I just can't give it what it needs now.
It has been raining just about all the time since the ice melted and I know I'll have some maintzanzce on this 1860's doozy this Spring. The spouting, for one thing, looks dreadful.
I am still doing paper work to finish up the estate and I have a memorial service to plan for May 14. I had a total of 2 weeks off after J's very sudden death and that due only to Christmas vacation. Work expects me to just march on . Ha!
Today I appreciate:
my dogs
my loud teenaged students
my food (soup)
a roof overhead
my neighbor who 'gets it' (widow of five years)
enough $ for the moment
friends
knowing that James is happy and may be laughing at my histronics. Darn him!
Much as I like my kids I can't wait for work to be done. I am a raving maniac and that is with antidepressants, counseling and grief groups. I wish I could settle down. I have so many papers to grade tonight, (sigh) Life of a teacher. I'm sure I'll miss the job but I just can't give it what it needs now.
It has been raining just about all the time since the ice melted and I know I'll have some maintzanzce on this 1860's doozy this Spring. The spouting, for one thing, looks dreadful.
I am still doing paper work to finish up the estate and I have a memorial service to plan for May 14. I had a total of 2 weeks off after J's very sudden death and that due only to Christmas vacation. Work expects me to just march on . Ha!
Today I appreciate:
my dogs
my loud teenaged students
my food (soup)
a roof overhead
my neighbor who 'gets it' (widow of five years)
enough $ for the moment
friends
knowing that James is happy and may be laughing at my histronics. Darn him!
Replies
So glad you finished with what you ARE thankful for - good things to remember that we do have things. My Husband was a teacher for a while - his first love, my Niece is a teacher, and my Sister in Law is a special ed teacher (over 30 years) , the kids are her joy, but all the other \'\'stuff\'\' gets in the way it\'s a hard profession. You have so much on your plate. Especially in the beginning things just swirl around and around - so much to take in and do. Be patient with yourself - excuse yourself - try to rest. I can\'t say things get much better, but the fog does lift some. Peace and strength to you on the most difficult journey of your life. Vicki
Good for you - being able to list things you appreciate! So important to have a few positive thoughts in there among the tears! You are NOT NUTS - just too overcome with grief to work right now. I\'m glad you have a neighbor who understands -- it is very hard when no one does. Take care -
Doye