ASCA survivor meeting

i have been attending my sunday survivors meeting consistantly. i met mel and john. they are my survivor friends and support. we text each other once a week at least to check-in. we met a new/old survivor matthew! he is a nice guy. he was sexually molested by his father around 10 y/o. it look like it really fucked him up. he talks about hanger and how he can't keep a jop nor a relationship. he watches a lot of porn. i'm just shocked that he has been in a relationship with a woman. because my abuse has made me afraid of an intimate relationship with woman. even john is married with children. john is 52 y/o and just joined the group. i keep thinking he is an actor. but i don't think he is. john said that the trauma from the abuse has finally caught up with him and he is having problems in his life dealing with it. him and his wifeare having a hard time in their relationship b/c of this. john has a lot going on in his life right now. his mother is sick and he has a son that can be difficult. i think he is overwhelmed. he will figure like i did. it is a process. last sunday i read an essay on sadness that i wrote for the group. i turned out well. i started early on the eassay. i had a enough time to reread and edit the essay. that is good for me b/c i can be procrastinator. Mel printed out the ASCA manual for John and me. it has been really helpful for me.