As life goes on.....

It was nice having food to eat while at my parents.  Sure is a real bummer being hungry.  I have no energy.  I need to do a lot of cleaning and just dont know if I will get much done.  I did get half the dusting done yesterday.  I am shooting for cleaning off the back porch today.  Its a very nice day outside.  83 and sunny! Seems to me all I do is think about my life.  How it has been and how it still is.  Struggling to find the energy to do the basic cleaning and then saying to myself, "This isnt a life".  Trying not to put pressure upon myself, but hoping to get something done.   My mom got me some material to make some sun dresses. I made one yesterday, but its too flowing and I need to take it in some. Maybe sometime soon I will make the other ones too.  Who knows!  I am much more comfortable in them.  Closest I can get to being naked and not displaying my fat. I cleaned the sea shells we found and applied baby oil to bring out their natural luster.  A few big ones I will keep for display and the rest I will make things out of or just use near my pond.  I saw a cute decoration made with painted shells on a 5 x 7 frame (inside the framed area) and I will try to make that for my bathroom.  Someday anyway! I am in bed by 11pm and falling asleep.  A real turn around from before when I couldnt sleep.  I get up 8-9 hours later and dont really even want to get out of the bed, but my body wont sleep anymore.  I just feel so darn drained.  Trying to go with the flow.  Wishing I was like other people who seem to have energy and do all kind of things each day.