As I posted in the forum
When I am older I want children...but I am so scared that i won't be able to handle them, will not be a fit mother and i will pass all my problems onto them.. Lately I haven't been able to handle kids at all, I used to love them, but now I just cannot stand them, maybe it will be different when I have my own...maybe not...I hope so... if you read this, read my post in the forum and maybe reply?
Replies
I feel the same way....but I am 33. I always envisioned myself as a mother. but as the years have passed and this illness has gotten worse I have the same concerns. How can I care for a child when I can barely care for myself at times? What about going off my meds while pregnant? Will the history of mental illness be passed along to my child? I wouldn\'t wish this life for anybody. I think it depends how strong your desire to be a mother is. If you want it badly enough and are truly passionate about it, you will find a way to make it work. I am a skeptic. BUT, it seems there are a lot of women on here who are mothers and have had amazing experiences with being a mother. It\'s all a crap shoot in any situation, that you will have a healthy child and be up for the challenge. Lucky for you, you are young enough to ponder this, get educated, a make a choice. Good luck. It is a sticky situation, but I know many others have gone through it and come out the other side with positive results.
I had my first manic psychosis after my son was born when I was 21. Later, I changed relationships and had 3 more children. Despite being up and down, my children were wonderful, and it was much easier raising them, than taking care of myself. It also gave me something to focus on, and a reason to go on when I was in depression. I have such wonderful memories of them growing up, and I miss them terribly now that they are grown. Don\'t worry, it is possible to get better and function, although it may not seem that way now. All of my children are happy, and normal, maybe they decided they didn\'t want to be like me. My daughter is a psych aide, just finishing a psychology degree and going on to social work. I guess some good came out of her learning about how to cope with my illness.
Responded to your thread on the board.
Although, I will say that I understand your worry about passing on your issues.