Artist's Way
I am frustrated by my reaction to having to write 3 pages long hand when Id rather be writing 300 words online.
Not only this but I cant be bothered doing the rest of the assignments because I dont really want to be an artist. Or not enough to bother with a daily discipline. I want and am happy just being me-
I want to keep writing my 300 (odd!) words here - but today I feel a bit off so I won't. It's simple really.
Yesterday I wrote a long email to an old school friend so I feel a bit written out. Also had a couple of DS chatting friends kind of ignore me once they'd said hallo. It can feel rather hurtful when people don't want to chat with me.
So I feel a bit down in the dumps.
Bryan sent me a chain recipe letter and I forwarded it on to 20 people. Hope some of them join in.
My foot is sore-after 2 days "rest" I need to keep it elevated more maybe? Don't know what caused it and thus not sure how to cure it.
Its all frustrating really.
Fact is I never have had much sticking power. I did complete my degree and I have stayed at my job for over 4 years. (and other jobs for 5 and 7 years). But I have skipped from relationship to relationship and dabbled with many things from Sufism to laughing Yoga to bridge to tarot and astrology. Never really giving my all to anything-just sightseeing so to speak.
Ivan is now reading the Artist's Way and is considering the Morning Pages. Maybe its more about him than me.
I do feeel a bit frustrated at myself-the other tricky thing is trying to have an Artist's date when i live so far from anywhere. It's a good 2 kms up the hill and then another 500 metres to the small village of Titirangi. Then another 8-10 mins drive to Glen Eden shops. I don't drive so I'd have to get Ivan to take me and that I don't feel able to do-esp as he'd have to wait around for 2 hrs while I play with my artistic side-just not gonna happen.
So all in all I feel a bit down in the dumps today. But the good thing is I know I'll feel good again soon in a day or 2 or 3-next time something happens.
I did do some gardening yesterday-swept the steps-and did a bit of weeding.
I have to do gardening chores so I can have a Peer Support Worker celebration. last time we went opshopping Lisa and I- she found me a nice top and a nice jacket-so hope to do it again.I have to achieve my goal plan before I get my reward. Being weeding the garden-Ivan has sprayed the back garden so just got the spanish shawl area up by Three. Maybe do that this afternoon.
No more news....I just carry on with what ever comes along. and if its nothing then thats OK too-Just enjoy being alive and got Ivan to keep my company too. As well as Arnie our dog friend.
That's all for now folks. Just like to add that my mood is pretty level despite feeling a bit disappointed in myself but I accept that feeling this is Ok and understandable. I hoped it would unleash me and i am still a bit disappointed that I won't suddenly become a writer without having to do the work....its doing the work that has put me off. But that's Ok too. I am me and I am FINE just the way I am-lazybones and all.
Bye.
Not only this but I cant be bothered doing the rest of the assignments because I dont really want to be an artist. Or not enough to bother with a daily discipline. I want and am happy just being me-
I want to keep writing my 300 (odd!) words here - but today I feel a bit off so I won't. It's simple really.
Yesterday I wrote a long email to an old school friend so I feel a bit written out. Also had a couple of DS chatting friends kind of ignore me once they'd said hallo. It can feel rather hurtful when people don't want to chat with me.
So I feel a bit down in the dumps.
Bryan sent me a chain recipe letter and I forwarded it on to 20 people. Hope some of them join in.
My foot is sore-after 2 days "rest" I need to keep it elevated more maybe? Don't know what caused it and thus not sure how to cure it.
Its all frustrating really.
Fact is I never have had much sticking power. I did complete my degree and I have stayed at my job for over 4 years. (and other jobs for 5 and 7 years). But I have skipped from relationship to relationship and dabbled with many things from Sufism to laughing Yoga to bridge to tarot and astrology. Never really giving my all to anything-just sightseeing so to speak.
Ivan is now reading the Artist's Way and is considering the Morning Pages. Maybe its more about him than me.
I do feeel a bit frustrated at myself-the other tricky thing is trying to have an Artist's date when i live so far from anywhere. It's a good 2 kms up the hill and then another 500 metres to the small village of Titirangi. Then another 8-10 mins drive to Glen Eden shops. I don't drive so I'd have to get Ivan to take me and that I don't feel able to do-esp as he'd have to wait around for 2 hrs while I play with my artistic side-just not gonna happen.
So all in all I feel a bit down in the dumps today. But the good thing is I know I'll feel good again soon in a day or 2 or 3-next time something happens.
I did do some gardening yesterday-swept the steps-and did a bit of weeding.
I have to do gardening chores so I can have a Peer Support Worker celebration. last time we went opshopping Lisa and I- she found me a nice top and a nice jacket-so hope to do it again.I have to achieve my goal plan before I get my reward. Being weeding the garden-Ivan has sprayed the back garden so just got the spanish shawl area up by Three. Maybe do that this afternoon.
No more news....I just carry on with what ever comes along. and if its nothing then thats OK too-Just enjoy being alive and got Ivan to keep my company too. As well as Arnie our dog friend.
That's all for now folks. Just like to add that my mood is pretty level despite feeling a bit disappointed in myself but I accept that feeling this is Ok and understandable. I hoped it would unleash me and i am still a bit disappointed that I won't suddenly become a writer without having to do the work....its doing the work that has put me off. But that's Ok too. I am me and I am FINE just the way I am-lazybones and all.
Bye.
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