April 21st 2009 worest day of my life

I have not been on in a while do to a lot going on in the family.  I type this just hours after I buried my love of my life.  My DH did not get a chance to fight the cancer inside of him as he was taken before any treatment began.  I am still in a state of shock as though this is a night mare and I will wake up and see his smiling face looking at me again.  These last couple of days have been HELL and if it where not for our daughter Aubrey and my family I would not have made it.  Aubrey keeps me going and my family holds me up when I am about to fall.  My DH was 1 in a Mill and he loved both of us with that great big heart of his.  I know that we have a angel looking after us but still the plans we had made for our little one that he was looking forward to.  I was able to say I love you to him the night before he passed and kiss him.  He did not suffer and I take comfort in that.  Just to let you know what type of a guy he was there was over 300 people at calling hours for him.  All of them said he was a great guy and that he loved his family.  There where also a handfull of people that he only met once that showed to say good bye.  He was great man.  I will always love him.