April 2025

I do not know what to make this month out of. Things I am planning in hopes to make my career more successful and trying to work with Barbizon that I feel I am being under minded, What they did was put me in for a scripted commercial that wasn't my choice but placed in that category. I am taking a break with them till I can figure out how to handle the sittuation. As for Baltimore's Fashion week things are starting near the end of this month but in the mean time I managed to get into a fundraiser for the African Children in Baltimore and also I got picked to audition for the Bany Agency for modeling, from what I gathered they do business in NY and other places and some out of the country which I need to get my butt moving to apply for a passport, which probably going to a nightmare due to the fact that I am a transgender person. will see what happens when I get it processed.

Walmart and Arby's I can't say much for either of them, Arby's they are getting more people to help out but still the nagging of drive thru times is getting to be unbearable. At Walmart I still think that I am in another country with everyone speaking nothing but Spanish and them that don't know one ounce of English and a few other issues that bugs the crap out of me by them leaving crap on the shelves that don't belong there as you wonder what their homes look like, including not reading signs in self checkouts. They act like they can do anything they want also bringing in the stores pets. That is an accident waiting to happen. I don't know about myself as I am getting tired of everything. Feeling alone with know one to love and being depressed. On my way back from Baltimore I was temped to into a topless bar but with a huge amount of will power I didn't go in.

This month is so difficult with the memories of me leaving my family and everything I have gone through that day being scared of the unknown. Throughout the 5 years I have managed to survive, keeping my head afloat, but still wondering what is ahead of me. I am always reminded from that certain person about me leaving and throwing away my family like garbage. But I didn't, I left because I my health was endanger my eyesight. yes I was losing my eyesight because I had cataracts and many times I have asked her to set an appointment to see an eye doctor, but she didn't even though I asked many times. I didn't want to lose my sight. I didn't want to leave and miss out on my family especially in seeing my grandkids. It hurts to much to not knowing how they are doing and being excluded during the holiday's. I didn't want this, to leave. I love merle very much, I always will. it kills me to hear her having health issues but she drawn her attention toward Annette and left me hanging not knowing. I felt like an outsider instead of a husband. I still remember the good times that we had and I will never forget them. With Danny doing baseball and then wrestling, I can remember. If you are reading this Merle I never stopped loving you but you pushed Daniel away from you he felt that you never cared about him or loved him with all the hard he has done for you and the family. Even now Danielle is still Daniel on the inside, still caring for you and worried about you. Not a day goes by that he doesn't think about you and the kids. He had hoped that his family would open that door up and allow him in. It's been six years and nothing but everything that was said is the truth and that is all I am going to say. I love my family very much and when I left I didn't do It just out of hate I needed to save my life, my eyesight because I wasn't getting the care from her, I knew the consequences and I took the risk not knowing when or if my family will being willing to accept me for who I am as I don't see it coming in reality or the near future, But when I am gone from this earth I feel that my family will have a party being happy that I am no longer alive. April 2025 has been a hard month but I have survived and I hope that I continue to survive. I want to help others like me. I miss everyone. This month has been a difficult one. Every day doesn't go by without me thinking about merle and the kids. Still I am not allowed to see them, I just hope that it won't be late for them to change their minds.