April 2

The kids and grandkids came in for Easter.  Here for a week.  It was good they were here but there was so much Ron did when we had company.  First holiday meal without him.  Now that everyone is gone I can cry.  It is so sad.  Too many decisions and I have made too many mistakes.  I am not sure I can live on this farm by myself.  Scammed by an on line job app.  Really thought I had a job. At least I will be cautious now.  Ron has an Ira that I have to do something with.  Each daughter gave different advice and I am not confident in my own decisions anymore and don't want the kids to know.  I have been doubled billed for Ron's medical, took out my own health insurance since I now know how expensive one trip to hospital is.  They messed up their billing.  I am having so much trouble getting things straight. I am so tired of it all.  Son in laws going thru Ron's shop to help me sell tools.  That is good but they kept asking me do you want to keep this, are you going sell this, put this on Craig's list.  I am going to have to take a deep breath and just put everything that can wait off.  If the kids lived closer I sure it would be easier.  I used to be so strong and take charge.  This really is awful.  Now I have to get credit protection because some scammer has all my info.  I am sure that I will mess that up too. Why do they make things so hard for older adults?  This is not how I envisioned my retirement years.  I must remember that this too shall pass and God is with me.