Approaching Midnight
This past week, despite my best efforts I have been experiencing a very dark night of the soul. At this moment in time everything seems utterly pointless. I am approaching Midnight, journeying on. I cannot go back. There is nothing to go back to.
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My sleep problems have been solved by having someone to sleep with. Bedtime wasn\'t a problem, waking at 3 am unable to go back to sleep was my problem. New love...solves the problem. BUT, easier said then done.
Love.....
I still take a mild sleeping pill....If not, I just stay up and try to be busy....Hang in there!!
Don\'t give up, it\'s not pointless, but the reason it\'s not simply isn\'t clear yet. Goodness will come again, as surely as the sun will rise in the morning. Love and Hugs, Martha
Thanks Sam and Glenda. I am sleeping. I just seem to have lost my zing and everything that I felt passionate about leaves me quite cold. It is a dark period of transformation and I keep tunneling towards the light. Your words provide some light Martha. Thank you for each being here.
Hopefully this is just the ebb and flow of life. It will get better. Feel around in the darkness and see what you find.
What did Darryl love about you? Make a list. Your wonderful husband fell in love with you because you have certain traits, characteristics, talents, skills, etc... It has helped me to get back in touch with the person David (my love) fell in love with. I have felt as you do - everything is utterly pointless. But David saw beauty in me, character, integrity, compassion, love, empathy, ambition. I had a good life before David. I had a wonderful life with David. I want to just \"have a life\" without him. Remembering why he loved me has helped me remember why i love myself and why i am worth loving life again:)
Hang in there.
Lisa
the down days are so hard to understand and so difficult to overcome sometimes. I try a walk to clear my head sometimes I put on my ipod and walk and cry until the mood lifts. Wishing you a better tomorrow.
No, we can never go back! We have to go forward and live in the present. This is easier said than done.
Always comes the dawn. Do not dispair.
Joe
Thanks so much for hearing my call. I have been fighting this for a couple of months now and it was the sense of pointlessness and despair which bought me to DS. The clothes of who I was are not fitting nearly so well these days and so I am simply standing naked without identity until I find the right ones to replace them.
All I have is a big hug for you. You have been so much help for so many here. That is really something. Not pointless at all. I wish I knew some magic words to make it better. Hugs.
We have all been down that road and all I can say is that somedays it will be easier. Like Lisa mentioned we have to remember why our spouses loved us and build on that to be able to make it through. I also feel like giving up but then I remember that with all his medical problems Carlos wanted to live and he loved life and family. I need to keep going because this is what he wants me do. Hang in there and I am here for you anytime. God bless you. Linda
We all have those dark moments and dark days when it all seems so pointless. We can\'t. indeed, go back but the future is such an uknown place for us. I know, for me, it\'s the fear and guilt holding me back but I have to believe there is a future there behind that door I\'m facing. I just need the courage to open it, peep inside and go for it. I try to remind myself how much Pam battled for ife because it is so precious and I know she would want me to keep going and find that future. I\'m sure Darryl would want the same for you. A day at a time is still the way. Don\'t be too hard on yourself and know my thoughts are with you wishing you the strength and optimism to keep going and keep focusing on the little things that we do accomplish and the things we still have to be grateful for. Take care. Patrick
It is darkest before the dawn; at least, that is what they say. Hang in there and it is bound to get better! I also have been \"down\" this week; over the numbness, finally starting to feel something, and it is not good. Icy, nasty weather and our whole back yard full of tree branches haven\'t helped; but next week could be a whole new time! That\'s why you need to hang in; because you never know.......