any changes for you
not exactly an update.... but maybe it is... just curious... has anybody found major changes with their significant other with regards to their personal relationship with their significant other after the death of a child... Is grief a turning point... how long do you hang in there hoping things will get back to what is normal... (if there's such a thing as normal) For instance I know that my normal is soooooo not like anybody elses... just a question.. Would be interested in somebody elses views on this... thanks
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Thanks for commenting on my journal entry. I don\'t write every day but I often find it helps me to sort things out in my head just by talking to moms who walk this road with me.
For quite some time after Cara died I really didn\'t want to be intimate. I resented Richard for even wanting to. You know... the survivor guilt thing... the idea that we can\'t/shouldn\'t be even living much less enjoying anything...
I am curious.. do you think after this much time has passed though that your children\'s passing is the issue? Actually I\'m not asking out of curiosity. I\'m concerned. I\'m thinking maybe there are some other issues and want you to consider looking at why there are changes now... or are they ongoing all this time. When I read that you had lost not one but two children I was so sad for you. Its so darn hard to lose one child. I know it happens over and over but it sure seems like it shouldn\'t. By the way speaking of your normal being so different... I read a list on I am pretty sure it was KellyLee105?... anyway on her journal a few days ago she has like a list of what normal is now for us. A lot of it sure fit me... Its longish but well worth the read. I don\'t know if this had helped. I\'m pretty open so if you want to talk holler. I can\'t help much but I can listen. Hugs Elissa Cara\'s Mom For Always
I think it\'s quite normal for the relationship to change but overtime should return to a \"new\" normal and one that you both are familiar with and comfortable with. I agree with Elissa above that maybe some other issues may now play a part. I\'m having some marital issues myself and my son has been gone for three years. His death is not the reason but in hindsight, his grief journey may have led him to his behaviors that we are confronting. Who knows. Certainly I\'m no expert as I\'m trying to figure this out too. I hope you can find some common ground and mend your relationship and find happiness together. Much love. Robin