Anxious about MRI and Wishing for a Time Machine!
Having an off day. Feeling anxious about tomorrow's MRI - worried about the claustrophobia and also the results. Also, long story but DH might be losing his job this June which of course is bad, but especially bad because we have 3 insurance covered IVFs with his plan (not full coverage, but it helps a GREAT deal and of course any help with these costs are very welcomed). I woke up today in a panicked state. We wanted to begin IVF last September, but have had a few setbacks and now I'm starting to panic that we are running out of time between DH's insurance/job and my age. I'm trying very very hard to not feel regret that we started this process about a year too late. I really believe things happen for a reason, for the most part, but I don't feel that is true with IF. I cannot understand why women so deserving to be mothers struggle so much and I don't believe there is any good reason for it. Sometimes it's so damn hard to have faith. I am sitting here watching the rain fall outside and day dreaming of all the things I would do differently if only I had a time machine!!! Ugh....
Hoping you are all enjoying your weekend and doing well wherever you are in the process.
xoxo
Hoping you are all enjoying your weekend and doing well wherever you are in the process.
xoxo
Replies
Sending good thoughts your way ... I don\'t think this weather is helping out. Having an off day too : /
I know its hard. Ive had 2 mri\'s---ask for light sedation or have them talk to you during it. I actually fell asleep during mine.
I would pay to find that time machine my friend! Try to stay strong and take each day as it comes. I am like you and panic about things before then happen.....if things are out of your control there isn\'t much to do about them so what\'s the sense of panicking! I didn\'t love my MRI either but I found if I just kept my eyes closed I was fine. Hoping everything goes smoothly tomorrow. Thinking of you! XOXO
Good luck on your MRI. See if dh can sit in the room with u and talk to u. I am hopeful that you won\'t need all 3 IVF\'s. Thinking of you!
If you discover a time machine, I would like to borrow it. Maybe we could go back together, to our early 20s and freeze our eggs or take some of our DH\'s sperm with us and make embies from our younger selves, on second thought we can find our younger DHs and get their younger sperm too. I am liking this idea. Wish it could be true!
But back to reality, ugh I hate reality. IF is horrible, absolutely horrible. I think all of us (who are not in our 20s) wish we would\'ve started earlier. But how could we have known? We all grew up thinking if we educated ourselves, met the right man, fell in love, got married, if we did everything right it would just happen. Looking around us it was happening to all of our friends, then bam it never happened for us and now we are stuck in this IF hell hole.
I wish IF didn\'t exist, I wish I could take it away for you, for me, for all of us. It is so unfair.
Like you though I try to believe everything happens for a reason, or at least I hope so even though I can\'t find one with IF. So I am hopeful that your MRI is going to go well tomorrow and you\'ll be able to start your cycle. Hopefully you\'ll be a BFP success story on your cycle and we can all look to you as a source of inspiration. I am rooting for you and ill be here for you the whole way.
Good luck with the MRI.
Oh my gosh, I would love a time machine too! I\'m sorry that hubby may lose his job.....hopefully if that does happen there won\'t be any set backs and you can use his current insurance for IVF. Best of luck tomorrow with the MRI!
While you in the MRI tomorrow just try to concentrate on the trip you would take with your time machine. I\'ve only had it done once but I found it was ok if I just concentrated on something else while they were doing it. If your in the long enough, maybe you can even figure out how to build the time machine. I\'ll be sending you good vibes tomorrow and really hope you get good results.
Sorry about DH job. If you get the ok, you\'ll be doing IVF soon enough and here\'s to hoping your 1st cycle brings you your BFP.
Breath, I understand panicking days as I had one too. Remember there is always cobra and there is plenty of time for your DH to find a new job. Maybe his next job will cover the whole thing! Hugs, this feeling will go down with time as thing sort themselves out...
Thinking of you! Hope your MRI went smoothly.