Anxious

Woke up in the grips of gnawing anxiety this morning. I am working to keep my analytical talents from jumping their curb for now. I don't believe that anxiety enhances the analytical process, at all. The inebriating nature of anxiety strikes my senses as far more potent than any substance that has ever entered my personal bloodstream. Incapacity personified. For now, I am plying therapy tools and riding out the anxiety "high." My strictly personal anxiety habits run long and deep enough that I feel a need to treat anxiety like a separate entity. Sometimes anxiety bubbles up for no discernable reason and taking it seriously only leads to self-gaslighting, at best. Anxiety can make mountains out of molehills.

I forgot to hit an ATM before I went out to Kanawha State Forest Tuesday afternoon. Wednesday night there wiped out my cash reserve and Boy Toy's truck bed was tarped for an experimental tent. Moving the truck for a quick run into town called for tearing down the entire camp. Just as well. Rain was in the forecast for last night. Yesterday I packed up my extra-modest camp and headed back to Charleston, a motel room and the internet. A stream of waiting text messages started jangling my dumb phone with the first peak high enough to have cell reception. Flatlander that I am, mountain roads are still quite nervousy for my driving habits. There are not many pull-over spots between Kanawha State Forest and Charleston. The messages had to wait.

Most of the messages were just friendly chit chat, but Hubs and most beloved sis are on the move, making plans for a vacation which will end with the HDSA National Convention in Schaumburg, Illinois. Plans are still forming, but it looks like Hubs will be riding the train to Alton, Illinois. Sis is bringing her 10 year old twin granddaughters. Sis and/or I will pick him up there and we will spend some days camping in one or more of the Illinois parks before we beat it up to the Chicago metroplex for the Convention.

The rain didn't happen here in Charleston last night. The morning clouds and fog are already burning off into the looks of a glorious day. As I broke camp yesterday, it grew solid in my mind that I would contract my motel room for 3 nights. Weekend travel is a bit more stressful to my senses than weekday travel. So, here I sit, feeling entirely too alone, anxious and. . . Riding ^it^ out.