Anxiety after drinking
I woke up today feeling still a bit drunk and as the day went by I started feeling a lot of anxiety and fear, I feel like I can't breathe and I am so ashamed of everything I have ever done specially last night. I wish I could erase everything and just delete these feelings but I cant. My mind is spinning so fast and I feel everything is so bad right now. I made out with a friend and I feel judged and stupid and ashamed and I want to die and I am saying that now I know it will blow over but seriously I feel like I want to die and everything to be over. I am done with everything and I feel so bad about myself , so scared of others peoples opinions so scared of what I said and did and what happened I just cant get out of my headÂ
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I wouldn't worry about what other people think. Every single person on the planet struggles with some kind of issue. No matter how hard you try you will never ever be perfect because we live in a fallen world. even society's most upstanding people who look perfect to the outside world struggle with dreadful things that no one else knows about. But you can't see it only they know what goes on. I used to be a perfectionist because my Dad was a military perfectionist. Everything had to be in its proper place. Even the yard, not one blade of grass could be sticking up too high or misplaced. It had to be perfect, exactly the way he thought it should be. I never felt like I measured up with him. I always felt like I was doing something wrong. Yes everyone makes mistakes, we all do. every single person on the planet makes mistakes daily. There is not one single person that is perfect. I will tell you, there was one perfect person only and that was Jesus. He died and took all the guilt and shame of our mistakes and issues on his shoulders so we would not have to live under the weight of that horrible shame and guilt. When I do something wrong, I give it to him and he takes it from me right away. The devil is called the accuser for a reason. He tries to whisper in our ears and remind us of everything we have ever done wrong to make us feel horrible. He knows he is going to burn in the lake of fire forever, he knows he is guilty of the downfall of man. He wants to put all that guilt and shame on people to take them down with him. You have to listen to what God says about you. That is that he loves us all so much he gave is only son to die, so that whosoever BELIEVES in him shall not perish but have everlasting life. God loves you so much whether you sin or not. He is not angry with you. God loves people or he would not have sent his son to save us all. No, you will never be perfect, you will always end up doing something wrong in one way or another even when you are trying your best to be your best. It is because of the world we live in. When you do something wrong, just tell God you are sorry and leave it with him and move forward. Keep moving forward, keep running the race of life. Leave it behind you and run the race. and keep looking ahead to what is going to be someday. It took me a long time to figure out how to live in that perfect peace. Only when I realized that no matter how hard I tried i could never be perfect, and put all my trust and mistakes to Jesus that I found that perfect place to live in even on this fallen earth. It took me a long time to figure it out. You can have that peace right now too because it is given to everyone who wants it.