Anticipation
Last contact with the contractor had demolition of the old building loosely scheduled to begin this week. Clearing the area has been the only item on my To-Do list for the past week and it is the only thing I havenae gotted around to. Dunno if the Dumb Broad is running that show or if the Quiet Voice is telling me to leave it be. It isnae all that far from clear.
Church has fallen by the wayside again. I missed last Sunday and donwanna this morning. My excuse of the week is that I am feeling the call of the Catholic. I have been going to the nearest church to the house on the hope of having my church in the same community. That sense of community is shot by the fact that nobody in the congregation lives in the same neighborhood. The lives and the church donae intersect very often. Such is the carbaric way. If it's worth doing, it's worth driving to? It is a Protestant church and of course they think my first steps toward Christ were wrong. Pope bashing required?
Loyalty is a tough concept for me to grasp. It seems to mean something different every time I hear it. In religious context, the meaning is steeped in interpretation and arbitrary quotes. I cannae seem to guess who is alluding which quote. Church laws included, even when they call their social boundaries by another name. But still. . . Methinks this piece of my Social Anxiety needs a leap of faith. I donae understand it, but I willnae until I push through it. Catholic is where God put my feet. Stay true to ^it^.
One of the Catholic churches downtown has noon weekday masses. Think I'll use today for clearing the job site. Assuming the contractor hasnae *just* run off with the start-up capital. . . Be still, my anxious mind.
Replies
believe in believing, have you picked a stair case? I was imagining the roof door as a good place for a tool shed big enough for a shovel or rake and a little shade for the plants that might like that. a study of the sunlight would be in order, I'm not sure how the seasons effect shading movement. just thinking of you having fun with the view on all high roof top.
They didn't have any 15 foot models in the staircase aisle at Walmart or Home Depot. Even the simplest of designs will have to be custom designed. I have it in my head that it might be worth the investment of adding a platform big enough to chill on, with storage space underneath.
The building will only be 24' x 24'. I want the staircase outside for the sake of preserving interior space, in addition to avoiding the complexity of rooftop doors.
Many times your words have brought ideas as "taking a leap of Faith' has been upper most in my mind, giving to me the ability for facing the unfaceable, thinking/doing beyond my fear. My Faith Is The Backbone Of Existence, I believe in what is Not Seen, Ask (ask, seek, know) when God thinks I'm ready, I will be provided with the answer. My Catholic upbringing runs strong in my psychie too, since I put John out of the house, I've fallen away '''from attending church'''...another work in progress to reduce isolation. I'm wanting the Gift of comfort and strength to return, this will come....sometimes I have taken my knitting and just sit in the silence of the Church...sadly sometimes when I've gone the Church doors have been locked....I wonder.