Answered Prayers

  My oldest son is in rehab and I am so very proud that he sees that he can not do it alone.  He has been in about a week now.  His girlfriend keeps me posted and relays messages.  I think she really does love him, she has put up with alot while seeing him, including leaving him. She told him she would never marry a drunk and live a life putting up with all that comes with that kind of addiction.  I am glad she stood her ground, she does deserve better.  I hope he will stay longer but a month is the plan so far. He says he is glad he came and the people there are great.  This is what his Dad wanted for him, the reason he hated to die without trying to do something to help him.  I think that my son is the one who had to make that decision for hisself.  No one could talk him into it or beg him into it.  Now, we pray that he will continue to keep custody of his children.  His x wants the child support money, she never was a real mother to them, ever, she wanted to chase men and get what she wanted from them.  We will know in another month or so.  Anyway, if I never see another beer can it will be too soon.  I pray that my middle child will learn from what his older brother has had to go through.
  My youngest son took me to the heart clinic yesterday.  My blood pressure was going nuts again.  Chest pain is what bothers me the most.  I just remember the saying that it is the silent killer, and I know how easy it would be to ignor those pains.  I need to get off my strong pain meds, my Dr. is trying to wean me down and off them.  I am sure that will help alot.  I am taking a water pill along with my lisinopril to keep my pressure under    140/90.  I told them that the 90 diastolic seems too high and they said it is the highest that it should ever be allowed but it would be best if it was lower.
  I suffer with depression also and take Paxil for it.  I think I will ask for Cymbalta as I think it would work better for me.  There is alot of other things I take like vit. D and others.  I should pay better attention to take these others like i should but my goodness, there is so much.  I have to write down the time and name of what I do take so I can remember if and when I took whatever.
  I know there is alot of other stuff to write but I am not feeling the need right now.  I think it will help me just to look back on what has happened in these past months.  It will be 5 months tomorrow.  It's so confusing to me, how time has passed and feeling that something isn't right with the world and still adjusting to the different-ness of it all.  Sense he died my physical health has gotten worse and I am trying to take care of me now.  It has cost me a small fortune, oh my gosh !!!  I am not 65 till next May, so no medicare and supplimental ins. till then.  God help me sort it all out, what would I do without him,, I do not know !