Another year
Saturday will be Lisa's angelversary. How can it be 9 years, and I am still here? It just sucks.
I still think of her when the phone rings when we are in the middle of dinner. I think of her when I see the magnificent sunrises. I think of her when I see turkey bites in the grocery store, I think of her when I see pickle panic popcorn, I think of her when I pass her favourite restaurants. I think of her when I hang out with Cevyn and Lisa's granddaughters. I grew up without grandparents so it really hurts that they won't know their grandmother. Sometimes I smile as I recall the silly things but mostly I just want to cry.
We will be going to Edmonton to spend Saturday evening with Andrew - if the weather permits. I can't wait to get a hug from my son. His wife calls him huggy bear - he is a big guy but has the kindest heart and the most comforting hugs.
I try to keep busy so invited a friend over for dinner tomorrow evening. Cooking keeps me from thinkig too much. We are having lasagne, foccacia, salad, and panacotta for dessert. It might be a thick pannacotta -I think the recipe I used called for too much gelatin. I made the pasta on Tuesday, the sauce yesterday, and the panacotta today. Tomorrow I just have to assemble the lasagna, clean the kitchen and visit with a glass of wine.
Lisa: I miss you more than I can say. I so wish you were here. Cevyn needs you - she is struggling right now, and Sierra and Arabella could use all the love you have to give. I miss you always and love you forever, Mummy
Replies
How indeed~ Boggles the mind to think about the number of earth years we've lived without our beautiful daughters by our side....
The meal you've been preparing sounds simply A M A Z I N G! Wish I could enjoy it with you...and a glass of wine, LOL!
Enjoy your visit with Andrew and fall into that warm, bear hug, and let his arms melt away some of the sorrow.....if but for a moment.
Tight hugs dear friend~
(((LISA)))
The missing is excruciating at this point, this Christmas marks 12 years, I'm sorry it continues to hurt but it's just your love with no where to go, it's meant for someone special and they aren't present to shower them with it so we stay busy....Barbara taught us so well....I MISS HER WITH YOU. Revel and relax into those Andrew hugs, wishing it brings some peace to your mind and heart. Love you!
I'm thinking of you and have been dearest Marlene. I know that Cevyn's news was a blow to your heart and also can keep that "worry" button in the "on" position too. May you continue to feel all that you need to as you are and in that feel my heart with yours as you come upon Lisa's tender day.
Your meal sounds delicious and I embrace the idea of make ahead meals so that I can pop them in the oven and enjoy my company. I too wish I could join in and will be saving room for dessert.
Hug hard that loving son of yours and allow him to swallow you up.
I'm with you and sending bunches of LOVE and heartfelt hugs to Lisa's mummy from Douglas and me.
XO Joanie
I am just a little ahead of you on the 9 year mark...as you say, how can it be and how can we still be here? Angelversaries are a stab in the heart, suck the breath out of you day. Please be oh so gentle with yourself and enjoy the big hug from Andrew...my Doug asoi gave great big bear hugs.
I marvel at the time that has passed 12 yrs for Marissa and 8 for Jennifer. Lisa in between them with all our other children angels.
Keeping busy or having accomplishments is the way to honor our children. You inspire me to keep going in spite of the hurt. I know it never leaves us.
So so happy for Andrew and his bear hugs. I want one. I am pretending it is coming over the wifi, lol!!
Having dinner guests is a great way to keep busy and have some good food too!!!
Sending you a big hug today and I hope some peace. Love Kathy
Marlene, there are no words. We just miss and long for our kids every day. Life was cruel to us.
Keeping busy helps me too. Your dinner will be delicious and hopefully, a good distraction but our longing is always there, isn't it.
Enjoy your visit with your son and enjoy those hugs! Love to you and dearest Lisa, ♡