Another year

July 4th marked another year with you.  It is painful but time is my greatest aide.  This year I choose to remember you alive and wanted it to be more about you instead of the pain of not having you hear.  I had several family member participate in the Rosary which I choose to have at the cementery.  It was different and you must have smiled seen us struggling to recite the rosary.  I wanted to participate in this remembrance of you and not have just a priest say a mass.  After the Rosary we had lunch.  George and his family were there, my sister Meli and her family and my friend Ms Irma and family, Conchi and of course our kids Rosela and Said and his wife and our wonderful and precious grand daughter Aleena.  I wish you would have gotten to know her she is so adorable and reminds me so much of you.  Your personality reflects so much on her.  She saw your picture on the tombstone and said Grampa.  She sees your picture on the refrigerator and kisses it.  After lunch I asked each person present to say what they mostly remember about you and how you impacted their life. I recall the incident with the Hot Cross Bun and everyone started laughing and then I told them that a few weeks before you passed away you told Rosela how I was your rock and you know your were my rock and financial advisor.  I wish you were here to guide me.  George told us some stories about you when you were a kid.  Normando also shared some fun memories of you and we all cracked up.  George's daughters also talked about how much fun you were and how you got along with everyone one.  Shayne could not finish talking and started crying we all then join in crying.  Omar could not finish talking he started crying remembering how much he loved you.  Carmen gave us the story about they day she got married and how nervous she was and how you talked to her and she was shaking so hard and she gripped your hand so hard and told her she was going to break your arm.  We all laughed.  Rosela said you were the greatest dad and she misses you so much.  Conchi said you always talking smack like the time you told her husband wait till Linda comes home I will beat her up for taking so long and when I walked in you were "Hi Lind is everything okey baby" and everyone stared at you like was this the guy that was just talking all that smack and now he is chicken.  I guess they realize that you were just pulling their legs by pretending to be mad.  Carlos, you played an important part in our lives and for that we will always remember you.  I love you and there is not a day that has gone by that I have not thought about you or miss you.  I know that time has helped me to realize that God had other plans for you and that your mission here on earth had finished.  My brother sent me some really good songs that have helped understand that someday we will meet again and that I need to continue my journey here on earth.  I love the song by Tercer Cielo called "No me digas adios sino hasta lluego", like the songs says this not a goodbye but until we meet again and listening to it has made me understand that you had to leave but will be waiting for me in the nearby future.  I will always love you and miss you but I know that you are always by my side and will always be with me.  The memories and love we shared will help me make it through during this difficult time in my live.  So much has happened since you left me, we now have a beautiful grand daughter that has brought us so much joy and is the sunshine in our life.  I am planning a family trip to Belize next year, wanted to do it this year but so much has happened.  I am moving to a bigger house that has a bigger backyard for our grand daughter to play.  I love you Carlos and take care until we meet again.