Another Year

I am one year older but not any wiser. Father time seems to be moving ever so fast. Why does it seem that years have past me and I only recall those moments as blurs of foggy memories? I have tried to love, give, hope, and change my ways more in the past few years but, it seem to be a lost endeavor. A game of life that I am losing to. Maybe I need to be more accepting of what I have accomplished throughout my life. It is so small and insignificant, so much so, that I feel like a grain of sand on a deserted desert.
Who can give me the answers to which I seek? I know that it is only I. I know this answer but, how and why can't I seem to grab it and seize the moments? There are many times I think that it is right there, right there at my finger tips but, it slips away. I don't have the strength to grasp it or appriciate it for what it is. The yearning for wholeness is shattering and the peices seem to not all be there to put back together. All I want is to be at peace; to be substantial and mean something.