another weekend ahead

another weekend here, Friday night and I should be looking forward to the weekend after a hard weeks work, instead I dread it.  the weekends were always OURS.  i think about him all the time. still can't get past the last day and the last month.  it was so hard on him.  i never thought it was close to the end.  i always thought there was more.  till we were old and gray.  still crying every day but smaller bouts.  alot at night when i go to bed.