another step down

I guess I only seem to write when things are bad anymore. My lung disease is progressing, I'm now up to 4lpm and my sats still keep dropping. Things are getting much more difficult to do and the fatigue is really hitting me hard. I am one step closer to transplant time and it scares the crap out of me. Sometimes I even think that I'll just leave well enough alone and take what comes, but I want to see my kids and someday grandkids life their lives for as long as possible. There are a couple of meds to try and put me back into a remission of sorts. I'm scared and I'm really struggling, I don't want anyone to know yet.
Jamie is safe from the fires in Fort Mac, but Jenn may be diabetic, and I'm failing fast…..what else can go bad? I shouldn't ask that, fate has a way of throwing a wrench into my life lately. All in all I can't complain, I have a wonderful husband and my kids are doing okay and I have a roof over my head and a bunch of good friends and my funny dogs. I just needed to let the fear out of my head and here is a good place to dump it out!