Another step closer....
The past few weeks have been non-stop with end of the year school stuff and getting all of our ducks in a row. Tuesday night we finished our last foster/adopt class. After going through them DH is really excited. I am excited & nervous- but know that this is God's plan for us. Last night we had a home visit, thinking it was our second to last. To our surprise, however, our caseworker asked if we wanted to do the final walk through as well and that is it! We now wait for her to write up our case study report- 25+ pages on us that we will never get to read. That alone is kind of mind boggling- that there is basically a story going to be written on DH and myself for others to read- summing up who we are, our beliefs, our families- EVERYTHING!!
After a rough weekend with Mother's Day- yesterday was much needed joy in our lives. Sunday was by far the hardest day that I have ever had to go through. I was on worship team at church- which I thought would be a blessing to keep my mind off the fact that it was Mother's Day- stupid me though. There has been an abundance of babies born the past month at church- and there were newborns everywhere. The sermon talked about honoring mothers and our pastor included all of us- those with children, those who have lost babies through miscarriage- and then mothers like me- one who can't conceive and actually get to be a real "mother". Needless to say, I cried- and cried- and cried. To see the happiness all around, to have people wish me a happy mother's day- only to want to snap on them, but not even have that energy as each time all I could do was turn and walk away and cry for myself. This Mother's Day all of our friends either have had their babies, or are experiencing Mother's Day pregnant- I couldn't answer their phone calls- and when I tried to send them a text to wish them a Happy Mother's Day- I only cried more. My heart broke all day- and DH didn't know what to do to put it back together.
That was Sunday, BUT today........
Today I feel hope....
Today I wait with great anticipation for the phone call saying a child will be placed in our home- for us to love....
Today my heart still aches, but today I can smile knowing that this is in God's hands....
Today I wonder who our first baby will be- what will they look like?
Today I think about the crib waiting in the nursery and know that soon we will kiss a child goodnight before we lay them down to sleep....
Today there is hope- there is a light at the end of the tunnel....
Today is the beginning of our real journey to parenthood.....
After a rough weekend with Mother's Day- yesterday was much needed joy in our lives. Sunday was by far the hardest day that I have ever had to go through. I was on worship team at church- which I thought would be a blessing to keep my mind off the fact that it was Mother's Day- stupid me though. There has been an abundance of babies born the past month at church- and there were newborns everywhere. The sermon talked about honoring mothers and our pastor included all of us- those with children, those who have lost babies through miscarriage- and then mothers like me- one who can't conceive and actually get to be a real "mother". Needless to say, I cried- and cried- and cried. To see the happiness all around, to have people wish me a happy mother's day- only to want to snap on them, but not even have that energy as each time all I could do was turn and walk away and cry for myself. This Mother's Day all of our friends either have had their babies, or are experiencing Mother's Day pregnant- I couldn't answer their phone calls- and when I tried to send them a text to wish them a Happy Mother's Day- I only cried more. My heart broke all day- and DH didn't know what to do to put it back together.
That was Sunday, BUT today........
Today I feel hope....
Today I wait with great anticipation for the phone call saying a child will be placed in our home- for us to love....
Today my heart still aches, but today I can smile knowing that this is in God's hands....
Today I wonder who our first baby will be- what will they look like?
Today I think about the crib waiting in the nursery and know that soon we will kiss a child goodnight before we lay them down to sleep....
Today there is hope- there is a light at the end of the tunnel....
Today is the beginning of our real journey to parenthood.....
Replies
I am totally with you! It is amazing how like the same exact thing is going on in both of our lives at the same time! I am feeling exactly what you\'re feeling! We have our last home visit tonight! Praying all goes well for you!
Congrats on getting through all of the classes and home visits. I am so excited for you.
I know how dreadful mothers day can be. They say It is always darkest right before the dawn starts to come. I hope that you have been through your last hard mothers day and that soon your arms will be full and your heart filled with joy.