Another sad day

Yes,, it's another sad day for me.  Just got back from the beach when in my heart I know I should have stayed home.  Went for the boys because I missed them terribly.  I guess I thought there was a crumb of hope to save the marriage..we even went out for a drink and watched the football games.  However, upon checking the phone bill online, I saw he called her and texted, especially when I or his family wasn't around.  Could they not just do this on vacation!   Then to boot he got this overwhelming smile and his demeanor changed when I told him I got a full time job with benefits.  Probably saying "Now I can get rid of you".  Now he can tell his whore that I got the job and they can be together, yada yada.  I didn't want to tell him I even got the job but I had to cuz eventually I have to start work.  I hate him...I love him somewhere inside and I know it's wrong.  I just wish they wouldn't make fun of me...that is what hurts me to the core.