Another passing of summer
It has been such a long time , I try and promise myself to stay up and keep in touch but it seems as if just dealing with everyday issues is hard enough to do! well another summer has come and gone another summer of missing my oldest daughter of trips of fun of family times, life is so empty anymore, we just got back from Florida was ok nothing spectacular, I guess whats so disappointing is it will never be the same I need to try and accept that. Vacations will be times spent with family and friends minus Ashley... I try and be excited and try and be enthuisatic but it always is such a let down..Always a big emptiness in my heart without having Ashley, the pain and suffering is hid so well underneath hidden from most peoples view, only some understand ... I still sometimes dream that one day I will wake up and this will be over but only a dream I wonder how it would be if she had survived where would I be where would my family be.. another school year approaches Theresa is a senior , Lauren is a Freshman, where has the time gone? Now Lauren is the only sibling who hasn't reached 18.. weird my oldest will someday be the youngest How sad... all I can hope is this year be a little softer .....
Luv U Ash
Luv U Ash
Replies
I know what you are saying I do the same. I find myself doing good and boom I\'m down again.. Its crazy I feel as though life is going on pretty good, and if I get to excited and happy, its like I hit a brick wall thinking about not ever seeing Ryan grow up.. Its seems like the longer our children are gone the more we miss them SOOO Much, In a hole different way, its indescribable crazy.. Its a process in a whole different way then in the beginning, at least we learned how to manage the pain, but it still is SO hard without them.. My daughter Erica is already 2 years older then my Ryan now.. Ryan was 4 yrs older than her, now Erica is 2 years older then him.. We have to accept it, I know.. At 7 yrs it still seems hard to accept..Helping others get through their early years in their grieving process is the answer to our purpose in life.. I hear ya!! Heart to Heart, Kelly
everything is so hard..... I know that my Daniel understands,,,,,he is so sad too... if we can ever get together,,,it would be great,,,, we are not that far,,,
love ya,,,,think of you all the time.
I hear ya Kim. It\'s so hard. So unfair. Everything HAS changed.
I\'ve heard many moms talk about how their youngest becomes their oldest....it must truly be a strange sensation. Kala was my baby; forever my baby. I won\'t know that experience. But my heart cries with you for you knowing.
I haven\'t had a vacation with my son in so many years. The last was with him, his friend, Kala, and her friend, and me. I haven\'t even considered inviting Torrey along. Of course he\'s been in a vicious battle with drugs and going in and out of jail. I wonder if maybe one day this is something I could do??
I know you do everything you possibly can for your girls. To make their lives as happy and healthy as possible. And I know it\'s hard. For you, and for them. I think it\'s important though that we keep trying...and you are!
My love to you and your girls, and btw, how is Kate doing?
Love to Ashley!! She holds a VERY special place in my heart. I somehow KNOW she and Kala are very, very, very great friends in Heaven!
With the passing of summer is another passing of a season without your beloved Ashley... Deepest of sighs.
You are doing your best and it\'s enough... More than enough for each day. No expectations and just knowing that FMO is here is what matters. A place where understanding and compassion is in abundance.
Loving care your way,
XO Joanie
It is just damn hard...no two ways around it. I so understand the incomplete feelings, thoughts and dreams you are feeling and expressing. Each time I attend a family function, see something that would have sparked his interests--I stuff it...having to explain things is tiresome. I am always trying to find the right balance. I always want my other children\'s milestones and celebrations not to be overshadowed with my grief...it is always a fine line...
(((((HUGS)))))
AnnM
Thanks so much everyone for all your kind words. Itdoesmean so much to me to have someone who truly understands ..hugs. guess itwil always be a struggle of emotions. Theresa got acvepyed to many colleges and I am so proud of her but on teother hand it hurtscause ashley wanted tk bexome a vet and nevergot thatchace. But u of findlay here comes theresa. Ready or not. Ash would be so proud. ,uv u ash