Another painfull day
Well here it is about 10 days out from the second of my first two infusions. I hurt like HE!!. I am so sick and tired of feeling like this. I want to be able to move with out pain, I want to be able to have a clean house and nice flower beds. I don't want my little grand daughter age 3 to help me put on my bed room slippers. I hear about people in remission, I hear about people feeling good on their treatments and I wonder if it will ever happen to me. I used to be a live for the moment, have a good time type of person and now I am depressed and crying, sometimes wishing I was dead and out of my misery. Death doesn't scare me, my first born daughter is an angel waiting for me since she was 3 years old. But I don't really want to leave my precious grand children either. I am waiting and hoping and praying the Rituxan kicks in soon, I am hoping that my pain will go away and one day I will be able to laugh again.