Another Mother
Joe and I have been doing resident satisfaction surveys at a the nursing home where I was a manager for several years. We have a 2 page questionnaire and sit with each resident and ask questions. As you can probably guess, some of the interviews take quite awhile as some of them are quite lonely.
I visited a lady today who was very sweet. She got off topic a lot, which was fine. She is a lovely lady. At one point she mentioned that she had lost a daughter. I didn't really respond until after the survey was over. i then asked her when she had lost her daughter. She said 17 years ago. I told her how sorry I was and told her that I too had lost a daughter. She got teary eyed and said that she still cried at times. She said "I will never get over it". Her daughter committed suicide. I agreed that you never 'get over' the loss of a child. She told me about her grandchildren - they did very well despite the tragedy of losing their mother. We both expressed our sorrow that our children will not see their children graduate, get married; that they will never have the joy of grandchildren. Both her daughter and Lisa loved children.
I felt honored to spend the time with her today.
I visited a lady today who was very sweet. She got off topic a lot, which was fine. She is a lovely lady. At one point she mentioned that she had lost a daughter. I didn't really respond until after the survey was over. i then asked her when she had lost her daughter. She said 17 years ago. I told her how sorry I was and told her that I too had lost a daughter. She got teary eyed and said that she still cried at times. She said "I will never get over it". Her daughter committed suicide. I agreed that you never 'get over' the loss of a child. She told me about her grandchildren - they did very well despite the tragedy of losing their mother. We both expressed our sorrow that our children will not see their children graduate, get married; that they will never have the joy of grandchildren. Both her daughter and Lisa loved children.
I felt honored to spend the time with her today.
Replies
A precious connection brought through love and sorrow....
You are a gift to so many Marlene!
You are wonderful.......she needed you and you were there...
Isn\'t it amazing that sometimes we are placed right where we need to be.
Yes, I agree, she needed a friend and you were there to comfort her even though that was not the original reason you were sent there (or was it?). This journal makes me feel good as I know there are so many people out there who just need someone once in a while just to listen. You were there for her and I am glad. Your friend, BarbaraWawa
So many Mom\'s with so many broken hearts and dreams. Sending love, Terry
Marlene, I feel that our children DO get to experience all of that which we feel they\'ve missed out on...only now it\'s on a \"higher\" plane of experiencing it. Often, we feel our children \"with us\" during times of either crisis or joy. We believe that God knows all that\'s going on with us...our children now with God ALSO see and know. I truly feel our children are not \"cheated\" out of ANYTHING... It just looks and feels that way to US who look at things from our mortal viewpoint. Lisa is FILLED WITH JOY!!! irregardless of anything!!!
Love, Donna ps I \"get\" that it\'s only normal to feel this way...I\'m just hoping to perhaps help you see this from a different perspective... :-)
I think you are wonderful, Marlene. It takes a strong and selfless person to walk into a nursing home and be with those elderly who are lonely and ill...and who cares about their well-being. No , we never will forget our children no matter how long we have been separated by this earthly death. I would suppose the closer we get to that time in our life when the next life is very close, that we begin thinking of that wonderful reunion mingled with a certain sense of loss that this body remembers. I am glad you took the time to be with these people who really need the human touch and concern. Much love to you....dale, brandon\'s mom
How wonderful that you and this elderly lady connected on a common basis. No, not common. A heart basis! This dear lady probably had no one to talk to back when she lost her child. I am happy she had you today!
It is a wonderful thing your doing. I know there are so many in nursing homes that are lonely. I gues it shows we will always cry. Major breakdown today.
Take care, Sandi
My son also loved children, I always said he was the pidepipper . You did well comforting another mom who did not have the connections and support we have with each other.
Hugs Penny
You were both healed in that moment of sharing. What a gift you are to so many dear Marlene and both of you will never forget this intimate time of sharing.
Much love,
Joanie
There seems to be a connection between moms who have lost a child. Perhaps it\'s that we can relate to the pain, sorrow & tragedy of each other. Each feels the other ones pain in their own heart.......Vicki ( hopefully we can be friends).
Marlene, how wonderful it was for you to sit with this lady and share your feelings. It helps to know someone truly understands...