Another Monday morning.

Here is a re-cap of last week.  I am aware that my husband is still drinking. In each"Heartfelt" conversation  he assures me that my suspicions are unfounded because he "would never want to hurt me like that again".  I have decided to just stop the discussion. When I have had enough and can't find my center I simply remove myself from his presence.  So last Monday or Tuesday evening I couldn't sit in the family room another second w/o screaming so I quietly took myself to my room with my book. My best friend, the puppy, dutifully followed and curled herself in my lap. I was content and engrossed in my book.   15 minutes later, the door opens up and in he walks.  i say "what are you doing here?" he says " every time you do this you want to talk, so I am here for the talk."  Well, can you imagine his surprise when I say that "I am through playing Make Believe with you, and if you have something to say that is real and true- go ahead and say it. If not, please go away".  So he does his usual deer in the headlights, i don't know what you are talking about stare. So i say: if you have nothing to say "please go away"....."is it about my blood sugar?"........."please go away"........."If you have nothing to say that is real and true, please go away".  After a little more of this verbal volley he says "Ummmmm, well yes i have been drinking, but not all the time" ....." I know, I am NOT stupid and I am not playing the pretend game with you any more, so let me remind you that this relationship is a FINANCIAL arrangement. you are free to pursue what ever life you choose, and since your lifestyle has broken our marital contract over and over, I no longer hold my self bound to it..... so NOW please go away" and i resumed my reading.
On Wednesday evening my AH tells me he spoke with his therapist (who he sees weekly but does not discuss alcoholism or addictions) to come up with a plan   ?????? apparently it is the plan that is currently in place which is not working. AND he drank the following 2 days.  On the weekends he seems to control his urges a little better. so i have decided to just keep a little notation on my calendar each day to REMIND MYSELF that i am not crazy.  just one word or two like: yes or smelled it, etc. This morning I wrote:7 am nasty. 
I no longer carry his pain for him or jump to his rescue for even the smallest things like a stuck spatula in the drawer, or let myself get drawn into his OCD craziness. I simply reply something like " go ahead and take care of that if you need to , it isn't an issue for me." Surprisingly, my lack of response seems not to bother him too much and I was awed that the sky does not come crashing down on my head.
I continue to be grateful for the household tasks he takes on, which I would have to do myself if I kicked him out, and I find some comfort in the fact that his income is fixed and not in jeapordy due to addictions. I never need to take time off for deliveries, repair men, or doggies vet or grooming appointments.  My car is meticulously maintained and the gas tank is always full.  He never questions my comings or goings. I am in charge of the money. He plans and cooks all meals (sometimes gross and unhealthy but hey.....).  Life can still be good.