Another Monday

Dearest, Mondays are so hard, I don't want to get up, I don't want to go to work, I don't want to do anything. Had some errands to run after work, spoke with the lawyer, spoke with HR about 401K stuff. Not changing anything until the dust settles. You left a lot of dust you know, not just laundry.
All in all nothing special today, just glad it's over. It is chilly out and they were predicting freezing rain. You'd hate it, I know. What in the blazes did you have all that vinegar for? I think that big bottle of balsamic was what you used for your salad dressing but what about all the rest?
I just spent 1/2 hour looking for a knife that wasn't missing, did you watch? Did you laugh? What does that note on the inside of the cabinet door mean (1/2 pkg = 1/2 cup + 1/8 cup.).
Your Aunt Helen is coming your way! She passed this afternoon. Be on the lookout for that little 100 year old lady! That will keep you busy, fighting with her. No crying!
I stumbled upon that poem that you didn't like, I'm not sure whether I like it now or not. but it makes me think. Till we meet again
Your Ken
Don't stand by my grave and weep for I am not there
I do not sleep, I am a thousand winds that blow
I'm the diamond's glint in the snow
I am the sunlight on ripening grain
I am the gentle autumn's rain
Don't stand by my grave and cry,
I am not there. I did not die.



I like that poem. I have been reading a lot of Elizabeth Kubler-Ross\'s books and writings. Dr. Kubler-Ross believes only the body dies, not the energy or essence of a being. She devoted her life to death, dying and near death experiences. Interesting reading.
Of course, it doesn\'t take our pain or lonliness away. But somehow thinking of our loves as light and wind and energy makes me a bit less angry.

Dealing with the legalities is difficult. I felt as if Chris just disappeared and I was left to \"fix\" it all and take care of it. The best advice is to not make any changes until you are ready. Don\'t you just love all of the little things they left behind and we can\'t figure them out? I have a garage full of construction tools and to me they are foreign objects. What was he thinking? I have no idea how to use a table saw. I would cut my hand off. I have learned to look at these items as treasures he left behind to challenge me and take my mind off my grief. I can go swear at the saw and not have to apologize to it later. I just hope the neighbors don\'t think I am a crazy lady when I yell at it :)