Another Miscarriage
So, I get on DS almost everyday just to see how everybody is doing. I read your journals, questions and statements. I sometimes have a hard time reading about some DS ladies who are still TTC and going through MC. I don't know why, call me weak if you want too but it still just breaks my heart. When I get on here and read of someone going through a MC, I end up getting off the computer crying. It just hurts so much to read about it. Our boy's will be turning one the end of this month and I feel SO blessed to have them but my angel babies still have a hole in my heart.
So after three years of TTC and fertility treatments on top of loss after loss we finally conceived our boy's. They were born March 29th of last year. Somehow some way we got pregnant on our own when they were 9months old in December. I was extremely shocked to find out I was pregnant on our own. We definitely were not trying to get pregnant but we were not good about using protection either. I just thought that when the boy's turned two we would try on our own for a year then just go back to fertility treatments with our RE. I never in a million years thought I would get pregnant on our own. Not after everything we have been through. So last week, Monday to be exact I went in to our OB for another US. I was 11wks along and there was no HB. I had seen our OB almost every week since I am high risk for MC. I was also put on Progesterone as my progesterone levels had started to drop in the fifth week. Everything was going good and I had finally let it sink in and was feeling happy about having another baby. I had the D&C last Tuesday. Going through another MC is just awful! You wonder why you and what is wrong with your body. Why can't you carry a pregnancy? I am starting to feel a little better as we all know time heals. Now I don't know what I want to do. I feel like I want to try and conceive in three months when the DR gives me the OK to do so. But at the same time our boy's are so little I want to spend the time with them. Enjoy them as babies and toddlers as much as I can before bringing in another baby. But I feel so empty from this pregnancy that I just lost. Don't get me wrong, I feel so blessed and thank God for them everyday but every baby that you carry, you love, you want. Thats just how it is. I want them all! I want all seven of my pregnancy's. They were my children and they are loved.
So after three years of TTC and fertility treatments on top of loss after loss we finally conceived our boy's. They were born March 29th of last year. Somehow some way we got pregnant on our own when they were 9months old in December. I was extremely shocked to find out I was pregnant on our own. We definitely were not trying to get pregnant but we were not good about using protection either. I just thought that when the boy's turned two we would try on our own for a year then just go back to fertility treatments with our RE. I never in a million years thought I would get pregnant on our own. Not after everything we have been through. So last week, Monday to be exact I went in to our OB for another US. I was 11wks along and there was no HB. I had seen our OB almost every week since I am high risk for MC. I was also put on Progesterone as my progesterone levels had started to drop in the fifth week. Everything was going good and I had finally let it sink in and was feeling happy about having another baby. I had the D&C last Tuesday. Going through another MC is just awful! You wonder why you and what is wrong with your body. Why can't you carry a pregnancy? I am starting to feel a little better as we all know time heals. Now I don't know what I want to do. I feel like I want to try and conceive in three months when the DR gives me the OK to do so. But at the same time our boy's are so little I want to spend the time with them. Enjoy them as babies and toddlers as much as I can before bringing in another baby. But I feel so empty from this pregnancy that I just lost. Don't get me wrong, I feel so blessed and thank God for them everyday but every baby that you carry, you love, you want. Thats just how it is. I want them all! I want all seven of my pregnancy's. They were my children and they are loved.
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