Another Lovely Moment
Well, another passive-agressive comment from Mean Sister on FB again in response to an innocuous statement I made about something that has NOTHING to do with her or her life.
Basically, I merely stated on my wall that my son was getting an education, watching the Presidential debate. To which 4 people "liked", and she says, "He's just getting it now? I would hope he's been getting politically educated his whole life!" & then a winky emoticon (to make it cute).
So I stewed for a while, sat on it, weighed it & just replied "Who said he wasn't?" But really, I'm thinking, why say that unless you're intending on implying something negative? (I ran MS's comment by my co-worker & she thinks the same thing.) So I'm hoping I'm stopping her in her tracks. As Leslie Vernick says, "speak up." Hopefully she will listen.
I know I need to adjust my expectations that she's ever going to be nice or even stop her verbal/emotional abuse. And I think that since last Christmas, I have been on guard for her meanness.
Along these lines, here is an excerpt from an article I copied on another site:
Accept that you can’t fix, change, rescue, save, make someone else happy or love someone enough to make them be nice to you. Don’t just pay lip service to this. Really wrap your brain around the fact that no matter what you do, it will never be good enough. Understand that no matter how much you do for him/her; they'll always expect and demand more. Acknowledge that the more you appease, compromise and forgo your own needs; the more entitled, demanding and ungrateful he/she’ll be. He's/She’s like the Iraqi War; you’re throwing good energy after bad with no victory or end in sight.
Bottom line: you can't make someone be nice to you. I can't make her be nice to me, but I can try to protect myself from her nastiness. I have removed her from my FB NewsFeed (so that I'm not seeing what she says in general so that I'm not triggered by anything). And now I've called her out without defending, explaining, etc.
What happens next is up to her. If she wants me in her life, then she's got to treat me how she wants to be treated. If she wants to continue using me as a verbal/emotional punching bag, then I am removing myself from the equation. But I have to remember to be polite & civil. I will not stoop to her level. I will not cause a scene.
Basically, I merely stated on my wall that my son was getting an education, watching the Presidential debate. To which 4 people "liked", and she says, "He's just getting it now? I would hope he's been getting politically educated his whole life!" & then a winky emoticon (to make it cute).
So I stewed for a while, sat on it, weighed it & just replied "Who said he wasn't?" But really, I'm thinking, why say that unless you're intending on implying something negative? (I ran MS's comment by my co-worker & she thinks the same thing.) So I'm hoping I'm stopping her in her tracks. As Leslie Vernick says, "speak up." Hopefully she will listen.
I know I need to adjust my expectations that she's ever going to be nice or even stop her verbal/emotional abuse. And I think that since last Christmas, I have been on guard for her meanness.
Along these lines, here is an excerpt from an article I copied on another site:
Accept that you can’t fix, change, rescue, save, make someone else happy or love someone enough to make them be nice to you. Don’t just pay lip service to this. Really wrap your brain around the fact that no matter what you do, it will never be good enough. Understand that no matter how much you do for him/her; they'll always expect and demand more. Acknowledge that the more you appease, compromise and forgo your own needs; the more entitled, demanding and ungrateful he/she’ll be. He's/She’s like the Iraqi War; you’re throwing good energy after bad with no victory or end in sight.
Bottom line: you can't make someone be nice to you. I can't make her be nice to me, but I can try to protect myself from her nastiness. I have removed her from my FB NewsFeed (so that I'm not seeing what she says in general so that I'm not triggered by anything). And now I've called her out without defending, explaining, etc.
What happens next is up to her. If she wants me in her life, then she's got to treat me how she wants to be treated. If she wants to continue using me as a verbal/emotional punching bag, then I am removing myself from the equation. But I have to remember to be polite & civil. I will not stoop to her level. I will not cause a scene.
Replies